#every day we stray further from common fucking sense

[petrichor-and-moondust]

some of my favourite lines from the fics ive read recently

[pissypuffypissers]

every day we stray further from common fucking sense

<:

[itstheoneshot]

PHD

Request

Summary: Your one on one sessions with your professor always tend to get a little… steamy.

Word Count: 1.2k

Pairing: Onew x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Mutual Masturbation.

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You sigh, frustrated and tired as yet again your experiment did not turn out the way that you had hypothesised. The deadline for your PHD thesis is fast approaching, and you feel as if you have spent more time in the lab with your professor than you have doing anything else for the last few months.

Your professor is standing beside you, and sensing your upset, he places a hand on your shoulder to reassure you that it is okay.

“Lovely girl, it’s okay. Are you okay?” He asks you in a soft tone.

Your bottom lip quivers at this, you are exhausted by repeating the same experiment with the tiniest tweaks and still not getting the results that you want.

“I can’t do this, Jinki-nim.” You sigh, “I’m not going to get this finished in time, I can’t think straight anymore.”

As you had hoped, and as he always does, whenever you get like this, Jinki takes a hand to your cheek, turning your head to face him.

Your relationship has been more than just teacher-student for a while now, and you remember the first day that he kissed you as if it were yesterday. Now, whenever you are upset, Jinki knows exactly how to fix that, and today will be no different, you are sure.

“Sit up here, sweetheart.” He urges you, moving to hold your waist and get you up onto the lab table.

He steps away from you for a moment, to move your equipment out of reach before returning to stand in between your spread legs. He leans in to kiss you sweetly, moaning a little as you so easily melt into his embrace.

“We can’t have you upset, can we, doll?” He coos, licking along your bottom lip to ask for permission to taste you.

“N-no, Jinki-nim. I can’t do my work if I am upset.” You respond, playing up your emotions a little, knowing that he loves to baby you.

Jinki kisses across your jawline up to your ear, as his hands roam from your waist to caress your thighs, fuck, he loves your thighs, touching them at every given opportunity.

“I’ll help you,” He starts, “That’s what I am here for, after all.”

You nod, before exerting a pathetic whine, “Yes, please help me.”

His hands travel further up your thighs, finding your centre to tease you through the fabric of your jeans. Your lab coat is undone, falling off your shoulders, and as Jinki kisses you with a little bit more force, it causes the coat to come off completely.

“I’m gonna make you feel better, okay, lovely girl?” He asks, finding the button of your jeans to undo with his thumb and forefinger.

You know how well those fingers work, as they brush against your skin when he slips his hand inside your now undone pants. They are warm, and you are wet, as he sighs in want, feeling how much he turns you on drives him crazy.

“Oh shit, you really need this, don’t you? You’re sucking me in, doll.” Jinki groans as he inserts a second finger.

“Ah— fuck yes, fuck yes, Jinki.” You whine, as he rubs circles on your clit, fingers working fast to bring you to peak.

Jinki kisses up your neck, grinding into you as he finger-fucks, and in your desperate state, feeling his huge, hard cock, you bring him closer, undoing his own pants to free his erection. You wrap both of your hands around it to begin stroking him, and the pleasure it gives him only causes him to work harder.

“God, you’re fucking massive, Jinki.” You praise, knowing that he loves to hear it.

“Mhmm,” He hums, “All the better to fill my favourite student though, right?”

You almost lose it right then, as you are reminded of how good it feels to take his cock. Though as you glance at the clock behind you, you see how late it is in the day, and Jinki chuckles, reading your mind.

“I’ll drive you home, after this. Maybe you can come in, and we can continue.” He offers, as he begins to curl his fingers with each thrust.

You continue stroking his cock, feeling yourself begin to come undone, you rest your head on his shoulder as you grind yourself into his hand. Your breathing is laboured as you lose control, moaning Jinki’s name as you cum on his fingers.

“Oh shit, sweetheart I’m gonna cum, too.” He moans, as he takes his fingers out of you and sticks them into his mouth to lick them clean.

You know that he does not like to make a mess of the laboratory, so you do what you need, what you have been craving to do, and drop down to the floor to take his cock into your mouth. You can barely get your mouth around it, but you manage, and with a mix of hand movements and your tongue swirling around the tip, Jinki releases, sending spurts of cum down your throat.

You swallow every last drop, as the sounds that Jinki makes are like music to your ears, you suck him dry before pulling off, and gazing up at him above you.

“So good to me, sweet girl.” Jinki says, reaching out for your hands to pull you back up to standing, “Are you feeling better?”

You sigh, leaning up on your toes to kiss him sweetly, “I am, thank you, Jinki-nim.”

Jinki smiles at you, as he zips his pants back up, and steps back out of the way so that you can fix yourself up, too.

“Are you ready to try your experiment again now?” He asks, as if nothing had even happened between you.

“Of course, Jinki-nim.” You smile in response.

Jinki buttons your lab coat for you, helping straighten it out before he assists in rearranging your experiment for you, beakers and burners at the ready, before he steps back to let you try again.

With his hand on your shoulder, and your now relaxed mind and body, you try again, tweaking one chemical by only the smallest amount, and your work finally pays off.

“I told you that you could get there! Congratulations, lovely girl.” He praises you.

You are over the moon, so proud of yourself for working as hard as you have. You scrawl down your results and the measurements that you used, so that you can try to do this again tomorrow, as it is so late in the day, and you could not bear to have to restart once more.

“So much thanks to you, Jinki-nim.” You reply, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide.

Jinki reaches across to tuck a stray hair behind your ear, and you blush, despite how common your closeness is.

“We should celebrate,” Jinki offers, “How does drinks at my place sound?”

You nod, wanting nothing more than to spend time with Jinki outside the lab, knowing that you will end up staying the night, like you always do, riding his cock until the sun comes up.

“I’d love to.” You reply.

Jinki holds out a hand for you to take, and the two of you leave the lab together.

[shurisneakers]

shut in [5]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, threats, implied ptsd, violence

Word count: 2.9k

A/N: sam wilson nation how are we feeling after that trailer. only about a month to go for my two dumbasses to get the recognition they deserve!!

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! also if you want to be on the taglist, it’s mentioned at the bottom of the chapter.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“Where are they?”

“We don’t know, boss.”

Their eyes glossed over with rising anger, masking its earlier aloofness.

“I’m going to need more than ‘I don’t know’.” Their voice was acidic, dripping with faux politeness. A bad sign.

“Police say they pulled off the highway at one point and then they lost track of them because there were no cameras.” The agent looked at his partner who only nodded in confirmation.

“They could have ditched the car before going on foot,” the partner suggested rather unhelpfully,  “We have no idea where they could be”

They were silent, mouth pressed in a hard line, leaving everyone in silence.

“Have I told you about the time my dad hired someone to fix the sink here?” they finally asked, looking away from the agents. “Some drunk fuck got in a fistfight and absolutely decimated the thing. Dad got someone to fix the hole in the wall and the fitting.”

They turned away, facing the wall.

“He did an alright job, that guy. Fixed up the place, installed a new sink. But there was a problem that he said he’d be able to fix only the next day, something about water dripping through an unsealed pipe.”

The agents just sat there on their chairs, feet cold. They knew where the story was going. It was a myth at their organisation, a cautionary tale to everyone who joined.

“My dad, he agreed. Said ‘Yeah sure, come back tomorrow’. Guy packed up his bag and was on his way out when my dad called him back. Asked him to hold out his hand for the money and then he just,” they paused, “cut one of his fingers clean off. Told him that he’d get his payment and his finger when the job was done.”

“I loved my father,” They skipped a beat before whipping their head around to look at the two agents. “But he was a coward. I would have shot him in the head.”

The agents looked paler than what they were a few seconds ago.

“If I tell you to do something, either do it perfectly or don’t do it all because the next time you’re here and those two are still alive,” they sneered, lunging forward to grab one of their collars, “I’ll blow your fucking brains out. Do we have an understanding?”

“Yes boss,” the partner was barely audible, speaking for the one who was breathing heavily, looking like he was on the verge of passing out.

“Go on then.” They smiled, letting go of the agent’s collar as he stayed frozen in his place. They dusted their hands off before straightening up. “Don’t return without good news.”

The frustration of not knowing something was not one you were used to.

You were used to knowing. The satisfaction of a puzzle. The ease of a predictable pattern.

So when this mystery wasn’t getting solved within twenty minutes, it was starting to affect you. You spent hours staring at the ceiling, replaying every detail for months leading up to the case. Every client you shook hands with. Every coworker you greeted with a nod. Every vile sicko you had killed.

And yet, no matter how much you thought and rethought and rethought again, it simply didn’t make sense. There was a piece missing. A hidden variable.

Sam helped wherever he could. He offered up arguments and rebuttals. If you had a theory, he’d find the flaw or the lack of proof. He was keeping it reasonable. Only snorted when you suggested that maybe the president was involved in a large scale extermination of underground mafias. A absurd theory that had no roots in reality.

“You could point out any official on the damn senate and they would have some connection to our gang that you can dig up with one Red Bull and twenty minutes on the internet,” he had said. “It’s too much of a liability if we get caught. They’ll just get exposed for all the nasty shit they’ve been hiding under the carpet.”

You knew this, of course, and it didn’t help to be reminded of it again because it also meant that one more theory was ruled out. And with each theory ruled out, the further away you were from your answer.

It was frustrating.

Sam was in front of the TV, lounging on the couch with the copy of Pride and Prejudice in his hands. You were working on plausible solutions, drawing up flow charts to see what could be connected.

If Pierce wasn’t the common link then it had to be something else. You couldn’t proceed with the other spies theory because no one else immediately sprung to mind. There was one... but you decided against writing it.

If Ransone was telling the truth, and there was no way of knowing he was, Sam and you were unrelated and his being there was coincidental. You just had to rely on the employee-employer relationship you shared, if you could even call it that.

“Fuck,” you cursed loudly, tearing up the piece of paper and crumpling it. You groaned, holding your head in your hands. Your eyes were burning from straining it for too long and your shoulders were in pain from slumping over the table all day. 

You took a deep breath, shaking your head before instinctively reaching for another sheet. Your hand came up short so you fumbled around the table blindly, trying to grab at a piece of paper without spending the extra effort of searching.

“You’re not getting another sheet,” Sam’s voice came from above you. “You’re going to watch some shitty movie, eat some soup and relax for today.”

“Give it back, Wilson,” you muttered, reaching out your hand.

“No. You can use your unhealthy coping mechanism when I’m not around to see it. Half of this is my mess too and I’m not going to watch you have a breakdown over it.”

He was going to be annoyingly persistent; somehow he had exhibited that magnificently over the last few days. You knew better than to argue with him over something that he had made his mind up about by now.

“I don’t want to watch a movie.” You let your head fall onto the table, wishing that the cool wood would do something for the headache you felt coming.

You heard him set the paper back down, not saying a word. Your head was throbbing and all you wanted was the frustration to ease. It was killing you.

“Come on. We’re going outside.” That piqued your interest. Sam had never invited you anywhere before.

“Where?”

“Y’know; the outside. I know you haven’t seen it in a while but see if these words jog your memory. Sun. Grass. Win-”

“I know what the outdoors is, Wilson.” You smiled against the table, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing it. “I’m asking where exactly we’re going.”

“You’ll see. Put some shoes on.”

By the time you looked up he was already walking away from the table, leaving you to follow.

You sighed. He sounded too determined and you didn’t have many other options.

Pushing your chair away from the table, you went to go put on your shoes. __

“If in care you were planning to, I’m just going to tell you right now that you can’t kill me.”

The both of you had been wandering along the path for a while. When you met him by the backdoor, he had a bag with him filled with who knows what.

He declined to tell you what was in it either, despite you asking thrice.

“Calm down, Keanu Reeves. That’s not what I was going to do.” Sam gave a short laugh.

“I’m serious. I know karate.”

“So do I.”

“Krav Maga.”

He hummed in agreement. 

“Kickboxing.”

“Now you’re just insulting me. That’s level one.”

The path was littered with tree roots that stuck out of the soil, stray branches and leaves that crunched satisfactorily under your feet. One second of distraction and you were sure you’d fall flat to the ground. 

You both continued for a few more minutes before he finally came to a stop.

It didn't look very different from the rest of the woods until something caught your eye. In front of you, one of the trees stood out. The bark had large concentric circles, resembling a large dart board. A few indentations were already made in it; clearly it was being used for practice regularly.

“Here you go,” he spoke from beside you, handing you a tomahawk. “Go ahead, throw it at it.”

You looked at the tiny axe in his hand.

“Think of it as adult darts,” he encouraged, “Here, I’ll throw the first one.”

He extended his arm in front of him, pulling his wrist back before effortlessly throwing it at his makeshift board. It was two circles away from the bullseye he had carved out. It must have taken a while to make.

“This doesn’t look very safe,” you commented as he picked up another one, launching it at the tree. You followed its trajectory, watching it embed itself into the bark closer to the centre than the previous turn.

“That’s what makes it fun.” This man had no regard for safety protocols. Given, these were things that came with the job but it didn’t mean you did it in your free time. “It helps, just try.”

“Why are you doing this?” you asked curiously, trying to assess his reaction. Pulling you out of the house for a bar game wasn’t exactly the type of thing people generally did for you.

“Because I wanted to.” He shrugged, not giving you any further explanation. “Try one.”

“Okay.” You followed his example, watching as it glided smoothly before landing close to his initial throw.

“Nice shot.”

A smile made its way to your face automatically as he handed you another one. You repeated your action, an unusual sense of pride establishing itself in you when it came closer to the middle.

“Now what?”

“Now we collect and do the whole thing again till you feel better,” Sam replied, making his way towards the tree and plucking the small axes out easily. His back muscles tightened against the material of his shirt in the process. It wasn’t a bad sight at all. “Endorphins and all that.

“Is this where you keep disappearing to?” you inquired, taking two of them from him when he returned.

“Sometimes.” He took aim before throwing it at the board. “There’s a few things you can do around here.”

“Your coping mechanism is extreme sports without proper guidelines.”

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” Sam took a step to the side, giving you space to take your turn.

“Have you always been this wise, or?” you teased, concentrating on the circles in front of you. Your shot came pretty close. 

When you didn’t receive a reply, you glanced at him through your peripheral vision. He wasn’t moving, a thousand yard stare in his eyes.

“Hit it.”

“I can’t.” His fists were bleeding through the bandages wound around them. He could feel the tear in his skin, the burn of flesh against sweat soaked clothes.

“I said, hit it,” Emil commanded once more. Sam could feel his chest rising and falling steadily from beside him, his putrid breath making him want to vomit.

“I can’t.” He could barely stand up. Exhaustion seeped through every muscle in his body.

“You’re weak,” his trainer spat. “Nothing but a fucking child.”

“He’ll die.” Sam looks down at the boy, bloody and mangled on the floor. He had passed out ages ago but that did nothing to stop them from forcing Sam to continue relentlessly.

“It doesn’t deserve mercy. You hear that Wilson?” He leered right into his ear. “Do you fucking hear that?”

Sam flinched, nodding his head. The saltiness of his sweat was fresh on his tongue, burning where it dripped onto his busted lip from his forehead.

“So fucking finish it.” He knew that if he didn’t listen this time, there would be consequences. He didn’t want to find out what it was because he had no doubt it would pain a hell of a lot more than bruised knuckles.

“No,” he whispered, eyes wandering over the body on the floor. “I won’t.”

“What’d you say?” Emil straightened up, taking a step towards him.

“I said no.” Sam turned around on his heel. He could barely stand straight but the spite running through his veins was driving him, giving him enough energy to not collapse right there on the spot.

“He said no,” his trainer repeated, leaning away from Sam. “He said no.”

He turned to look at Ransone. Sam had forgotten he was there in the darkness of the room, observing the fight for the past two hours.

“He said no.” He started chuckling. His chuckles soon gave way to hideous laughter. Stomach clutching, tear inducing laughter.

Before Sam could even realise the change in attitude, Emil’s entire demeanour shifted. He stepped forward, forcefully gripping Sam’s neck. He shoved him backward until his back was pressed against the wall, no doubt bruising his spine further than what it was.

“Say that again, you fucking idiot,” he growled. But Sam couldn’t say anything. He could barely breathe. He was terrified, but determined not to let it show on his face. “When I say something, you better fucking listen.”

His trainer observed his expression for a few more seconds. Sam didn’t open his mouth.

His trainer finally loosened his grip, letting go of his neck.

Sam’s knees nearly buckled but he kept his balance, coughs racking through his body. He felt lightheaded, swollen eyes watching Emil walk towards the body on the floor. The only friend he had.

“Maybe this oughta teach you a lesson.” Emil flashed a quick smirk at Sam before raising his fist above Riley’s face.

Within a split second a guttural cry escaped his throat as he launched himself at the much larger trainer, taking him by surprise. The pure rage he was feeling had him seeing only red, the adrenaline steering his body on autopilot.  

With their position suddenly switched, Sam found himself on top of Emil, bloody fists beating down on his face without a break. The pain didn’t even matter anymore.

“Fuck you,” he screamed, not giving him even a second to defend himself. “Fuck you, you fucking dickhead.”

When he could feel his trainer raising his arm to grab from behind, he took a pause from pummelling his face to grab his arm, twisting sharply it till he heard a crack. The roar escaping Emil’s throat didn’t dissuade him from finishing what he started, returning to landing a punch wherever he could.

He didn’t even know how long had passed before his body was being pulled away, kicking and cursing.

“You see how good it feels Wilson? You feel that relief?” Ransone held him tightly as he squirmed furiously trying to get back to beating the shit out of that asshole on the ground. “Next time you’re angry, remember that’s the only way to feel good. If you’re in pain, you cause pain.”

Sam’s flailing was reducing as the adrenaline wore off. The exhaustion was beginning to take hold of his body as he looked at the onslaught of blood splatter everywhere, two bodies side by side on the ground. He did this to both of them.

“Violence is your only friend. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Ransone let go of him. His feet gave out beneath him, chest rising and falling heavily. His shoulders ached as he dragged his body towards Riley, praying to every force in the universe that he wasn’t dead.

He was still breathing. Sam nearly cried out of relief, collapsing next to him. Ready to defend him if Emil woke up.

“Next time you want to let out some anger, come find me,” Ransone called out. “I’ll find you your next victim.”

“You okay?” You waved your hand in front of his face. “Earth to Wilson.”

It seemed to work as he snapped back, blinking rapidly.

“You zoned out a little there. Everything alright?” you asked. He looked at you blankly for a second before realising what you asked.

“Yeah.” He gave you a half smile. “Yeah, I’m good. You done with your turn?”

The light that was there behind his eyes a few minutes ago had dimmed considerably. He looked weary. You recognised what had happened, what he was probably thinking of. You didn’t bring it up, not risking the chance of him reliving it.

“Kinda.” You pointed towards the target where a tomahawk was sticking out of the centre.

“Damn,” he whistled, resting his hands on his waist. “Best of three?”

“Didn’t know it was a competition.” You went to collect it. It was harder to pull out than you thought. You wondered how many times Sam had practiced it to make it look so effortless.

“Only if you want it to be.”

“Nah.” You walked towards him, handing two of them back to him. “Maybe next time.”

“Next time, huh.” He tested his throw before letting go of the handle. Bullseye. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

You only smiled.

Next part

[palaceofpassion]

Breaking Ren 1.

Reposting this again, cause I’m almost done with the finale.

Ren being force feminized into a cute little femboy trap~

“Mr. Arc, Ms. Rose.” Came the stern voice of Professor Goodwitch, her piercing blue eyes gazing down on the two leaders. “Going forward, I hope that I won’t have to call you in anymore, am I clear?” Her stern voice caused the two students to shudder.

“Yes Ma’am!” Came the dual replies of Jaune Arc and Ruby Rose.

As the door closed in front of them, the two slumped in unison.

“This sucks.” Ruby’s voice breaking the silence.

“Tell me about it…” Jaune stood up straight, stretching his back, “I can’t believe we had to sit through another lecture because of Nora and Yang.” His normally goofy tone serious, frustration eking out.

“Tell me about it! And the others don’t help at all!” Ruby threw her arms into the air in frustration, the two of them now on the move back to their dorms.

They had once again been lectured due to the trouble that their teammates, specifically Yang and Nora had caused.

“Tell me about it, Ren just let’s Nora do what she wants, and Pyrrha, I love her, but she can’t handle Nora’s craziness.” A soft growl leaving his throat, his eyes glancing down to Ruby.

“I KNOW! Blake doesn’t bother helping with Yang, and Weiss gives me trouble because I can’t keep my older sister under control! It shouldn’t be my job! But apparently being a leader means we have to take all the flack for our teammates.”

“Coco doesn’t have to deal with this, her teammates are so well behaved! And why isn’t Cardin or Sun here? Their team’s always cause trouble! Why aren’t Nora or Yang here either way!?”

Several students watched as the duo made their way through, still in their training gear.

Glynda had held them back after combat class, neither had the chance to eat and both were still drenched in their own sweat. They were obviously tired, but had to deal with a several hour lecture on why they need to keep their teams under control, this had become an all to common occurrence.

“I dunno Jaune, but it’s getting annoying! I’m still hungry but the cafeteria is closed, now I just want to take a shower and go to sleep.”

Jaune grunted his response, he felt the same way, feeling his stomach grumble he resigned himself to a hungry night. Soon they made their way to their doors, “Night Rubes, good luck.”

“You two Jaune.” He watched as she made her way into her room, as soon as she entered he heard a crash, and a seriously miffed Ruby.

Resigning himself to a similar fate he made his way into the dorm. His teammates were still awake, Nora jumping on her bed, Ren sitting and meditating, and Pyrrha staring at him a worried and warm look on her face.

“Hey.” Was his only response, he should have come up with something better, but he was just tired.

Pyrrha looked as if she was going to say something, but then Nora interrupted her.

“Hey fearless leader! What took you so long!?”

Jaune stared at her, an incredulous look on his face. She couldn’t seriously be asking that, fuck, she was Nora of course she was. He wanted to say something but relented, no matter what he told her nothing would happen or change.

“Look, I’m just tired… I’m going to take a bath and go to bed.” Pyrrha got up and handed him his clothes and a towel.

He gave her a warm smile, one that she returned in kind. “Thanks Pyr.”

“You’re welcome Jaune.” He looked at his other two teammates one more time and relented.

Turning around he made his way into the shower, turning on the water he shivered, realizing that all the hot water had been used. He growled, today was just not his day. Taking off his armor he let it drop the floor with a thud.

Staring down he felt his lower half twitch, with all the stress that his team, mostly Nora, had caused him, he hadn’t gotten the chance to relieve himself properly.

Once he removed his clothes he moved into the shower, originally he wanted to stroke one out, but with how cold the water was he could barely concentrate. It didn’t stop him from staying hard though, his frustrations grew when he heard a crash followed by Pyrrha’s voice, “NORA!”

Quickly turning the water off before he could even start to clean himself, he wrapped his towel around his waist, making his way out his eyes shot open.

His Guitar, the one that had been a gift from his sisters was in splinters on the floor. “Wha… What happened to my guitar?!” His normally kind voice filled with anger, causing the others to look at him in shock.

No one answered, but he already knew, his eyes shot to Nora. She stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

If he had been any less angry at this point, he would have noticed the way that Pyrrha eyed him, hunger in her gaze.

“Nora! What the hell happened?!” His voice commanding, he didn’t see Pyrrha shiver in an odd sense of delight.

“N...NOthing! It was an accident I swear!” Nor was panicking, she hadn’t meant to smash his guitar, she’d never do anything like that on purpose! But the look in her leaders eyes caused her to an unusually high amount of fear.

“Damn it! It was a gift from my sisters!” His eyes were dilating, and his pulse quickening, anger rising he made his way towards Nora, who started to sink back into her bed.

Though, before he could get any closer Ren stood in his way. Their eyes meeting, the silence that ensued caused a sense of tension that could be cut with a knife.

Ren was the first to break the silence, “Jaune, she didn’t do it on purpose, don’t yell at her.” His voice was stern, but this just just incensed Jaune further.

Yeah that’s how it always was, he wouldn’t help keep her under control, but the moment someone tried to discipline her he’d get in the way. Jaune felt his anger rise, he was tired, he was frustrated, he was angry, and he was god damn horny. His temper rising he glanced at Nora who shrunk back.

Once more he sized up Ren, he noticed something he never did before, Ren was awfully slim, his waist was similar to Weiss, but his hips were closer to Pyrrha’s. A sinister thought came to Jaune’s mind.

Closing his eyes he started to chuckle, this didn’t sit well with any of the other three, Nora watched on in fear, Pyrrha in worry, and Ren with a sense of nervousness. “Okay… okay… you don’t want me to discipline her, I get that. You don’t want to help keep her calm, I got that. So…”

His right hand suddenly grabbed the back of Ren’s head, his left shooting down to his waist reaching behind grabbing onto his ass. Squeezing he saw Ren wince in pain, “If I can’t discipline Nora, then I’ll discipline you. Starting from now on Ren?”

Everything was silent, no one could quite believe what Jaune was doing, “You’re going to be my bitch.” The shock on the other’s faces was audible. Before anyone could reply, Jaune smashed his lips into Rens, forcing the smaller boy back. His right hand leaving Ren’s head, now grabbing onto the other cheek, he squeezed and massaged.

There were a few things that Jaune hadn’t noticed before, Ren smelled really good, he had an incredibly feminine figure too, and a pretty face. His ass, which was normally covered by loose fitting clothing, was actually pretty big. It was nice and plump, so much so that Jaune couldn’t help himself. Pulling his right hand back he gave Ren’s ass a heavy and powerful slap.

Ren tried to pull back from Jaune’s advances but couldn’t, his lips parted when Jaune slapped him allowing Jaune’s tongue to invade. He continued to struggle, feeling the invading tongue assault his mouth, he didn’t know when but Jaune was clearly stronger than him now.

He began to panic, having to rely on his training and semblance to keep from completely freaking out. Though a stray thought entered his mind, why weren’t the girls helping?

Nora had no idea what was going on, one moment she messed up and was about to get scolded, the next Jaune-Jaune was assaulting her Renny, normally she would have put a stop to that, but she couldn’t move. Her body was incredibly tense, and the shock was too much for her.

Pyrrha was much the same, though, there was a growing fire in her body, this was hot. The way Jaune took command, and assaulted Ren, the way he said, no STATED, that Ren was going to be his bitch? She should be mad, jealous even, but she couldn’t help herself, this was the Jaune she knew he could be.

Jaune continued his assault, not letting Ren relax, his tongue pushed and pulled on Ren’s. Ren tasted pretty good if he was being honest, he felt Ren unconsciously moan with every squeeze, push and pull at his ass. Jaune felt his cock harden more under the towel, he couldn’t believe he was going to do this, but damned if someone was going to take responsibility.

After what seemed like an eternity he pulled away with a pop, Ren’s eyes hazed over, he wasn’t thinking straight. Jaune smiled as he removed his hands from Ren’s ass, grabbing onto the smaller boy he pushed him onto his bed, forcing him to sit. This caused Ren to sit down, his eyes staring up at Jaune.

Jaune smiled, his next action surprising everyone, especially Ren. “Pyrrha!” Her attention snapped towards him.

“Uh, y...yes Jaune?” He heard her hesitant, he couldn't’ blame her, but if anyone here would listen to him it’d be her.

“Pyr, grab my scroll, start recording, and make sure Nora can’t move.” Pyrrha was confused by his orders, though she loved the way he said it, that didn’t make it any less confusing.

When she didn’t respond he grew irritated, “Did I stutter?!”

The sudden rise in his voice caused her to panic, she grabbed his scroll put record on and made her way to Nora. Who was still in a daze. Pyrrha made sure to wrap her arms around Nora. She used her semblance to chain the poor girl down, a metal chain that they had used for training served this purpose.

She proceeded to record, using Jaune’s scroll confusion struck her, but that ended the moment that she heard a wet thud on the floor. Her jaw dropped, and drool escaped her lips, her eyes cast themselves lower as she finally got a view of Jaune’s penis. No that wasn’t the right word, it wasn’t a Penis it was a thick fat COCK. She swallowed hard as her throat grew dry.

Nora, hadn’t moved, she couldn’t. When Jaune dropped his towel her world came crashing down, a dark sense of dread filling the pit of her stomach.

Ren began to panic, he heard the thud before his brain fully registered what was going on. Before he could even register the sight his sense of smell was invaded. A sour, tangy, and salty smell invaded his nostrils, then he was hit with something. It was a powerful slap, smacking his face with a powerful thud. He felt himself still as he saw what was in front of him, it was a thick veiny cock, Jaune’s to be exact.

He swallowed hard and panicked, in the next moment he felt something hot touch his lips. Looking down he found the head of Jaune’s cock pressed up against his lips. He could smell it clearer now, it smelt like it hadn’t been cleaned yet, the must was strong. And he hated to admit himself, he felt his own penis grow hard. Though, no one would be able to notice.

He looked up at Jaune, who didn’t say anything.

Jaune placed his hand around his cock, he enjoyed the ensuing silence, the lustful look from Pyrrha, the stunned silence from Ren and Nora. Yes, this was good, there would need to be more of this.

He pressed the tip against Ren’s mouth again, he slid it across, allowing his precum to smear across his lips. “Ren…”

Ren took his eyes off of Jaune’s cock, just long enough to meet his, he felt the tip brush against his nose smearing a dollop of precum onto the tip.

“Ren, you know what I want you to do.”

Ren knew, but he hoped he was wrong, either way he wasn’t going to open his mouth. Though, this caused Jaune to become impatient. After a moment of silence he felt a heavy wet slap across his face. Jaune had just slapped him with his dick, before Ren could respond he was hit with another, this time from the left side.

“Open your mouth Ren.” Ren continued to defy him, though he had to wonder why he hadn’t put up more resistance. Then the thought hit him, he’d always stand up for Nora but never himself. Good, he could make use of this.

Using his free hand he grabbed onto Ren’s nose and pinched it close.

Ren tried to reach out to pull Jaune away, or to defend himself but the moment he did he felt a pressure on his own groin. Jaune’s leg had shifted to make sure that if he tried anything he’d be in pain himself. Ren did his best to hold on, but he could only last a minute before he needed air. Opening his mouth to breath he found it instantly invaded.

The taste came first, it was awful, it was musky, sour, tangy, and salty. The flavor alone made him want to gag, he could taste the left overs of Jaune’s pee, as well as the bit of precum. He wanted to say something, to do anything, but he couldn’t. Next came the sensation of having it in his mouth, it was huge, stretching his jaw to an uncomfortable degree. His tongue rubbing against the lower parts, he could feel the veins slide across it. He shuddered in disgust, this wasn’t something he ever wanted to do, and he absolutely hated it. More so when he felt it slide to the back of his throat, causing him to gag. Ren had never taken anything this big before, and it made him uncomfortable, so much so that he wanted to throw up, but there wasn’t any room for that!

Pyrrha’s eyes shot wide as she watched Jaune just slam his cock into Ren’s mouth. She watched him force himself all the way to the base. The fire in her core became more intense as she began to rub her thighs together, she should be helping Ren! But instead, she felt an intense desire grow in her, she needed Jaune to do the same to her, she should have been jealous but she couldn’t be, this was insanely hot. She just hoped that once he was done with Ren, he’d do the same to her.

Nora wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, but she couldn't’ find her voice, she couldn’t move. All of her normally strong nerves gave way, her body shook in fear, this wasn’t her fearless kind leader, this wasn’t her sister Pyrrha! What was going on?!

“Oh Shit!” Jaune wasn’t one to curse, but he was just so frustrated and tired. He couldn’t believe he’d done it, he shoved his cock all the way into Ren’s throat. He felt it clench around trying to force him out. He took a moment, just stood there, he enjoyed the heat coming from Ren’s mouth, the way that his tongue moved around struggling to push him out. God this felt good, it was exhilarating. His hands had moved to grab Ren’s head, he made sure that he wouldn’t pull back.

He felt Ren begin to panic, his breathing became tense and quick, he was running out of breath. Jaune smiled, he waited till the very last moment and then he pulled out. He watched as strings of saliva trailed from his dick to Ren’s mouth, he watched as his friend, no his bitch, cough as air escaped his longs.

“Jau Ne! You… why... !?” Ren could barely get the words out, he was trying his best to breath, to get air back in his longs, and not to vomit. The taste was still there, it was awful, it was far worse than the smell. He did his best to remain calm, to try to analyze the situation, but as he started to look back up it happened again, he felt Jaune’s pelvis smash into his face once more.

“Shit Ren, you’re mouth is so tight.” Jaune let out a soft groan, he once again stayed there, letting Ren's warm mouth envelope his throbbing dick. This wouldn’t be enough though, he would have to start moving soon, though he could enjoy it just a little longer. “You never talk, might as well make use of it!”

Jaune pulled out one more time, this time though he didn’t come all the way out. His dick was covered in saliva, he felt Ren’s mouth clench around it. He smiled as he looked at Ren’s lips pucker, “Shit you really do have dick sucking lips, they’re plump and ready.” Once more he thrust in with a wet smack.

Ren began to gag again, his throat was being violated so thoroughly, his mind was going numb. The taste was horrendous and the smell was getting to him, it was causing his body to stop listening to him. He felt Jaune enter his mouth again, only to pull out shortly after. He felt him repeat this over and over, he could hear the wet smacks from inside, he could taste the percum that started to drip out more fervently. Soon his eyes began to roll to the back of his head, he couldn’t stay conscious for much longer.

Jaune continued, everytime he pulled out, more saliva and a little bit of his precum began to gather. Ren’s lips were moist and wet now, a mix of his saliva and cum coating them in a nice gloss.

He began to pick up the pace, the sound of his wet smacking filled the otherwise silent room. He turned to Pyrrha who had slid her hands between her legs. Fuck that was hot, she was still recording and her attention was fully on his thrusting hips. She was watching his dick like a hawk, he’d have to reward her later. Turning his attention to Nora he could see tears forming, as she struggled against her bindings. Part of him felt awful, it tore his heart to see her that way. But, she deserved this, he was their leader and he would execute punishment.

His hips continued to piston back and forth, Ren no longer struggling against his thrusts. It didn’t take long, he had been ready to release a good while ago and had only held on to enjoy the feeling. It didn’t happen all at once, he felt his cum begin to splurge out of his dick, his hips continuing to move. Everytime he pulled out his cock was coated in his own semen and saliva, thick white webs stringing between the two Ren’s lips and his dick. When he felt the strongest pulse he pushed himself all the way down Ren’s throat, leaving his cock there forcing Ren to wake in order to not drown.

Ren felt sick, he felt Jaune’s seed spill down his throat and into his stomach. It was a disgusting feeling and it made his skin crawl, but a very tiny part of him found this exotic, his penis twitched in his pajamas, a small amount of precum staining them. He felt the hot thick fluid get stuck from time to time, forcing him to swall around Jaune’s heavy dick, something he seemed to enjoy. When he felt it stop, Jaune pulled out, he watched as thick webs of saliva and cum stretched and connected his mouth to Jaune’s still twitching dick. Ren hated the taste, but at least it was over.

It wasn’t over, Jaune was just getting started. He said Rene was going to be his bitch, so he was going to make him his bitch. Thankfully Ren was too tired to resist, and Nora had already cried herself into exhaustion, Pyrrha? Apparently she had just had her own orgasm, if her sudden janky movements were anything to go by. He’d definitely have to treat her later, she was being such a good teammate, unlike these two.

Jaune watched as Ren heaved for air, his chest rising and falling, then he noticed it the small stain on Ren’s pants. He began to laugh, catching Ren’s attention, “Alright, you ready for part two of bitch training?” The look of fear on Ren’s face told him that no, no he wasn’t ready.

Jaune grabbed onto Ren’s shirt, pulling it up over his head and tossing it to the side. Jaune pushed his exhausted teammate back, he watched as Ren’s chest rose and fell, he admired the view. Ren was far more womanly than most of the woman he’d seen. His waist was thin and he didn’t have an announce of visible muscle. Jaune couldn’t help but lick his lips.

Reaching to the end of Ren’s pants he pulled them off, only to pause once he saw Ren’s penis. A gleeful smile appeared on his face as he positioned himself between Ren’s legs. “Hahahaha! Hey Nora!”

Nora’s turned to Jaune, her eyes puffy and red, “You don't have anything to worry about, Ren wouldn’t have been able to satisfy you after all.” Her confusion ceased when she saw where Jaune was looking.

“Ren, this isn’t a cock.” Jaune smiled as he slid his hand against Ren’s penis, fully erect it only reached up to 3 inches, his testicals were small and smooth, and there wasn’t an ounce of pubic hair. “This Ren, this is a cock.” He pulled his now hard dick and slapped it across Ren’s pelvis placing it next to Ren’s.

Pyrrha made sure to record with increased interest, the difference was tremendous, Jaune’s was 4 times as large as Ren’s. She felt bad for her friend, she didn’t enjoy his humiliation, but she was getting off on Jaune’s commanding tone.

“Don’t worry Nora, I was planning on keeping Ren for myself, you don't have to worry bout this.” Jaune slapped his cock against Ren’s, a loud meaty thwack was the response. He watched Nora panic, good this was really her punishment.

Honestly, he hated that he was doing this, but his lust, and frustrations drove him over the edge. He didn't believe that the size of a man’s dick mattered, not in the slightest. But in this case it did, only because Jaune was going to turn Ren into his woman, he wouldn’t need it anyways.

Turning his attention back to Ren, he smiled leaning forward he placed gentle kisses into the crevice of Ren’s neck. “Don’t worry, you won’t need it, you’re going to be my bitch now Ren… no Lie.” He smiled as he heard Ren’s calm facade crack at the use of his first name. “No… Lian.”

Jaune’s hands traveled across Ren’s slender frame, he had to be as thin and soft as Weiss, this was insane! He had joked about it earlier, but Ren really did have a womanly figure, wide hips a big ass and a small waist. Pulling himself back up he pulled away, flipping Ren over and putting him in the middle of the bed.

Jaune climbed up after him, his fr… no his bitch didn’t move, instead he simply laid there. Jaune took the time to enjoy the rear view. His cock was hard, as he watched Ren’s prime ass. “Shit, you’re definitely better off as my woman Ren. That ass was made to fuck.” Ren had a fine ass, it was big and round, the kind meant to be pounded. He estimated it was probably bigger than Blakes, good thing too, Ren was far more attractive than Blake was anyways.

Jaune positioned himself behind Ren, pulling his bitch so that way his legs rested on Jaune’s lap. He slid his cock between Ren’s ass and began to position himself, moving his hips back and forth to get a good feel. He watched as his girth vanished in the crevice, “You’re ass is so fine.” He raised his hand into the air, Pyrrha’s breathing stilled as she prepared for what was to come, Nora panicked, Ren had no idea.

THWACK! THWACK THWACK! “MMMMPH!” Three powerful slaps, Jaune had hit Ren’s jiggling ass three times, each one causing vibrations to travel through his rear. Ren felt intense pain going through his body, he wanted to scream out in pain, but he couldn’t. His throat was still sore from being raped, he could barely swallow as it was.

“Damn, Damn that’s hot.” He did it again, and again, “This is an ass, that was made to spank! Lian! You were made to be my bitch!” THWACK! Jaune hit it again for good measure. “Pyrrha!”

Pyrrha’s attention snapped to Jaune, she had been too entranced by what was going on. “Yes Jaune~” Her tone was seductive, she had to have Jaune, oh god she needed him.

Jaune noticed it, and felt a chill down his spine, he stared at her and his heart fluttered, god she was amazing and he’d be lucky if she’d even consider him. Though, with the way things were going tonight, well that probably wasn’t too far off. He felt his nerves falter as he tried to think of a response, “Right… uh, right, get closer, I want you to record this, I’m going to turn really start the bitch making program now.”

Pyrrha sucked in some air, time to be straight forward, “Only if fuck me after.” There she said it! She watched Jaune for any change, she got none.

“No.”

Her heart shattered into a million pieces, she felt tears start to form at the corners of her eyes.

“No you deserve to be loved, not fucked, I’ll make love to you. I’ll be yours only if you’re mine.”

And just like that, her mood did a 180, she pounced forward almost bowling Jaune over as she wrapped her arms around his sweaty form. Unlike Ren she loved the smell, she adored it and it drove her wild, his musk was intense and she needed it close up. Their lips met in a searing kiss, with a pop she pulled away, “Yes please!” Both smiled, staring at each other lovingly.

Nora felt dumbfounded, what happened, what was going on?! Why were they happy but she wasn’t! She needed to help Renny! But she couldn’t move, she didn’t have the strength.

Ren should have been happy for his friends, he really should have, but he couldn’t be the only thing he could be right now was in pain.

“Right, make sure to get this okay?” Jaune said as he smiled at Pyrrha, she nodded inr response with an equal smile on her face.

“Right, here we go Ren, time to make you my woman.” Jaune put the tip of his cock against Ren’s asshole, Ren in response tensed and tried to squirm, though he had no strength. He needed to pull away, but before anything could happen, before Nora realized what was happening, before Ren could protest, Jaune slammed his cock in with a loud smack. Jaune felt his pelvis hit Ren’s plump pillowy ass, cushioning the powerful thrust.

“Holy! Lian! It’s so hot, you’re going to melt my dick off!” The intense heat along with the clenching force of Lian’s ass. Jaune pushed his weight on top of Lian, forcing his body down and pressing him tightly against the bed. He reached forward his arms wrapping around Lian’s neck and head forcing him into a headlock. “Shit!” He began to move, SMACK SCHMACK SCHMACK!

Pyrrha began sliding her fingers through her lower lips again, she’d decided on discarding her lower pajamas and fully embraced the debauched show in front of her. She watched as her now boyfriend began to slam his bitch, she watched his hips pull back his thick fat cock pulling out of her friends ass only for it to slam back in less than a second later. She watched the way that his ass rippled with each thrust, the way that Jaune increased his pace, pounding their once teammate into the bed with force.

The only audible sounds were the creaking of the bed and the smacking of wet flesh. Jaune loved it, it was intense, and it was hot, he’d never felt this good before. He imagined how it would be to be in Pyrrha right now, how hot her folds would be. He wanted to be in her soon, now even! He continued to imagine he was fucking Pyrrha, his thrusts ecame stronger, faster, harder! He felt his body tense, he was about to cum. Pulling back he lifted Lian up by the head, still keeping him in a headlock. He pulled Lian onto his lap, bouncing her up and down forcing her to take his cock. Right her, Lian wasn’t Ren anymore, no she was his toy, his bitch, his fuck hole. He continued to thrust, forcing Lian’s legs open he gave Nora a good show, he watched in horror, fear, and possibly arousal. He let her see the way that Lian’s little dick flopped up and down, the way that his thick cock pulled in and out of her ass pussy. “Fuck, I’m almost at my limit!”

Ren had hit his far before Jaune did, the way that he felt Jaune press against him, he kept hitting his prostate causing a sense of pleasure to fill his body one he hated. He was mostly in pain, Jaune’s cock had split him open in ways he never wanted and it hurt. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes as he felt his penis splurt, he watched as Jaune brought him closer to Nora.

He felt shame, only his semblance preventing him from acting on it, he watched as his little splurts of cum splashed onto Nora’s shocked face. Then he felt an intense heat in his organs, Jaune released his seed once more, this time much more powerful than when he had buried himself in his throat. Ren felt the seme fill his intestine, the way it reached his stomach and caused him to bulge, that shouldn't’ have been possible, but he felt so full he watched his stomach inflate a little at the amount of seme invading his insides. He felt nothing but shame as Jaune pulled out, still cumming, leaving his ass a gaping mess. He watched as he covered Nora in his seed, the way her eyes glazed over at the scent. He watched as her face contorted into anger, fear, and something else he couldn’t place. He watched as tears formed on her eyes, she closed them and fell back, soft sobs escaping her lips.

Jaune smiled, this was a good punishment, he’d make it up to them later, maybe when he had them both tamed. But for now, now this would do. He grabbed Lian once more, tossing her onto her bed, he watched her asshole gape, his semen dripping out, most of it was still inside. He’d done a good job, he watched as Pyrrha scooted next to him, the Camera trained on Lian’s ass, then over to Nora.

“Mmmm, good job.” She said with a smile on her face, giving him a small peck on the cheek. “Thanks, couldn’t have done it without you.” He returned the gesture, grabbing the scroll from her hands he turned off the camera. “So… you wanna take this to the bath? I kind of really need one.”

Pyrrha thought on it for a second before nodding, the two of them made their way to both get cleaned, but to also have some fun, the door closing.

The next morning everything seemed normal, at least, it would have been. Nora was incredibly quiet, Pyrrha was incredibly happy, Jaune was incredibly confident, and Lian? Well she was dressed in one of Pyrrha’s school outfits, makeup on her face with minor touch ups to help show her more feminine nature. Jaune had fitted her with one of Pyrrha’s corsets, to help train her waist a bit more. He had also done her hair differently, putting it in a more girlish side ponytail one that came off the right side of her head. The best part was that she wasn’t wearing any underwear, he could take her whenever he wanted, on her penis was a small chastity lock that Pyrrha had made for her.

The team made their way out, Pyrrha and Jaune hand in hand, Ren and Nora quietly after them. They were greeted by Team RWBY, well by Ruby anyways. Jaune noticed the flush faces of her teammates, the way they wouldn’t look up. He heard a vibrating sound, and noticed a remote in Ruby’s hand. He smiled at her, and she returned it.

“I see ya had a good night, huh VB?” His smile grew.

“I can say the same about you CF.” They both started to laugh together, “I can see that that school is going to be great going forward.” She nodded in response and they led their teams onward to face the day.

[btsinwonderland]

A Drop of Poison - Ch. 14: The Ball

A Loki fanfiction!

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It was a day before the ball and you sat in the Great Hall with Pom, Mo, and Valkyrie eating breakfast. A smattering of eggs, bacon, stuffed sausage, hash browns, and toast laid in front of you. You took a small piece of toast and buttered it lightly. Another yawn escaped your lips and blinked several times, trying to shake the feeling of tiny rocks rubbing on your eyeballs.

“How was Hogsmeade?” Mo said dejectedly. His parents had sent him quite the howler after the events in the Forbidden Forest. They banned him from all outdoor excursions and he had to stay in the school for the rest of the year.

Valkyrie shrugged. “It was alright, we just tried on some dresses, and I may or may not have seen Nila naked,” she said, smiling at you and Pom.

Mo raised his head with wide eyes. “You did not.”

Just then, Nila came by and sat down beside Mo. “Hey!” she said, leaning over Mo and grabbing a piece of bacon. Mo was stock still and flushed.

You giggled with Valkyrie. “Morning, Nila.”

Valkyrie raised a brow. “So, do we all have dates?”

You blushed, thinking about Nathan Gill, but more so thinking about Professor Laufeyson’s instructions.

You will go to the ball with this boy,

You will dance with him, have a drink, and do what young girls do at balls.

You gulped, thinking about the last thing he said.

And at the end of the night, you will come to my room, and I will punish you for all of it.

“Y-yes,” you said. Then Pom meekly said “yes” with a small blush. You looked at her, surprised that she had mentioned nothing. Then the three of you looked at Mo and Nila, who looked away from each other uncomfortably.

Nila spoke, a little miffed, “I was asked by Thomas, Jury, Mirwich, and Ali.”

You raised your brows, “wow, that’s great, Nila!”

Mo’s expression darkened, and he turned away further as Nila continued talking. “But I said no.”

She slowly turned towards Mo and looked at him. He looked back, trying to conceal a smile. “And what were you waiting for?” he said.

Valkyrie looked at you and rolled her eyes. You could tell she was itching to interrupt them with some blunt statement like, “just fuck already!”, but you hit her thigh under the table to shut her up.

“I was waiting for this stupid boy to ask me, but he hasn’t seemed to get a clue yet,” Nila said, curling a lock of hair on her finger.

There were a few seconds of anticipation. You saw the realization on Pom’s face, and she brightened immediately. Valkyrie’s leg twitched; she was getting so impatient.

Mo got up and knelt in front of Nila and took her hand. “Nila Odesa, will you go to the ball with me?”

Nila reddened, but nodded profusely.

“You didn’t need to embarrass her,” you said, laughing.

Then, Mo and Nila bid you three adieu and left for a walk in the courtyard. You laughed alongside Valkyrie and Pom at the awkwardness of it all, but you were happy for them. Then, a thought dawned on you, and you turned to Valkyrie.

“Valkyrie, do you have a date?” you said.

Her mouth twitched as if she wanted to say something specific, but she threw you a smirk. “On what planet would I not have one, my sweet Hufflepuff?”

Before you could ask further questions, she changed the subject. “So. Blood on the walls. Was it a prank or not?”

Your heart sank, and all levity fled. The teachers had cleared out the hall upon their arrival. They later confirmed it was all rat blood, and most of the students thought it was a pre-Halloween ball prank. Though you recalled the tension on Headmistress Frigga’s face when she made the announcement. She was holding back.

“What if it’s real?” Pom said. “There is a beast out there. What if it’s not done? What if...that thing...comes after Ken again?” She twisted her napkin in her hands.

You took her hand as a flash of evil yellow eyes surfaced in your mind, and you concealed a shudder. “He’s safe here. As long as we stay in the school, it’ll be okay.” Even though the words came out confidently, you did not feel them. Were you truly safe at school? If it was real, then who had written the message?

“What did they mean by, ‘enemies of the heir, beware’?” Valkyrie said. “Who’s the heir?”

“And of what?” Pom said.

The three of you were quite puzzled about it and your conversation eventually went in circles. You thought about asking Leah, from the switcher book, if she might have some answers. A part of you thought perhaps you should bring this up to your friends; the fact that you had conversations with a book that spoke to you, which was still weird even to Hogwarts standards. But when you opened your mouth, you found yourself stuffing more potatoes into it and forgot what you wanted to say.

The windows closest to the ceiling opened up and owls flew in with morning mail. They dropped letters, packages, and newspapers to the students. Pom caught a letter in a pink envelope while Valkyrie caught Mo’s paper. You were not expecting anything but glanced up to see a large package hurtling towards you, which you caught just before it pegged you in the face.

The package was in a black box with a silver bow tied around it. You touched the bow and rubbed the softness; it was velvet.

“What’s that?” Pom said.

“I don’t know,” you said as you undid the bow. The box opened up to reveal a swath of cool fabric. It was black chiffon with lace patterns all over it. You lifted the fabric out of the box to reveal a beautiful black dress. You gasped at the heft, not too heavy, but it definitely carried some weight. The side of it glittered at the hip while the neck was where the black fabric stooped down to reveal a daring neckline that was covered by translucent chiffon.

“Woah,” Valkyrie and Pom said. “Who sent you that!”

You looked in the box and saw an envelope with a single card with the message: Happy Halloween.

There was a black velvet box underneath the envelope that you did not notice before. You let Valkyrie and Pom occupy themselves with the dress while you popped it open. There was a dark glint as the open box revealed a studded necklace of bright green emeralds. You already had guessed who this was from, but the emeralds were his way of signing it off. A quiet laugh escaped you from how heavy-handed it was, but you felt moved by the thought of his gift. It all seemed far too expensive to take, though he would not listen to a single word you said to oppose it. He would certainly be upset if you did not wear this when he saw you at the ball. You sighed and gave in. Professor Laufeyson was the sort of man that did not even need to be present to sway your choices. You knew that he knew you were utterly wrapped around his fingers.

Valkyrie and Pom sent a tirade of questions your way, but you chalked it up to a secret admirer and that you did not know. You stuffed everything back in the box and popped a bite of sausage into your mouth as you headed out of the Great Hall in a mad shuffle. “See you at the ball tomorrow!” You told them.

The rest of the day passed in a blur as you attended your classes. There was no potions class today, and you just wanted it to end so you could see him. You were slightly alarmed at how your concern for his life had now grown into a mild obsession with the man. A part of you lied to yourself and said that you were still only trying to prevent him from dying, like in your visions. But you knew it was far more than that now. Even if Heimdall came and told you he saw a prophecy that Professor Laufeyson would never die, you could not bear to be away from him. He had taken over your mind in ways that even your visions never could.

You glanced out the window from your common room at the darkness and looked around, blinking. The day really had passed in a blur since you could barely remember your classes. Fatigue hit you like a train as you changed into your nightgown. You fell into bed like a stone and, though you feared sleep these days from knowing what toothy nightmares awaited you, it was also what you desperately needed.

***

It was the night of the ball and you stood in your room and looked at the girl in the mirror. She was definitely not anybody you recognized. There was something cooler, more confident about her. She was in a gorgeous black dress that fit her every single curve. The emerald necklace laid around her neck immaculately, and provided the perfect statement piece to the outfit. You glanced at the plunging neckline and bit your lip. Your breasts were not very large, but this dress accentuated the swell of them. Upon doing a little turn in front of the mirror, you appreciated the curve of your rear with a bashful smile.

You shook your head at the mirror, not believing it, but also thrilled. Tucking a stray baby hair behind your ear, you left your room to head over to the ball. The walk through the halls was busy, with beautifully dressed students heading over to the Great Hall. The boys looked older and more handsome with their suits and dress robes. Some wore a sprig of flowers on their lapel while some fashioned a moving brooch that crawled along their pocket. The flurry of dresses of all colours and shapes and sizes excited your senses.

“Freya?” a voice said from behind you.

You turned around and saw Nathan in black dress robes. His eyes widened when he looked at you. “Wow, you look beautiful - I mean, you’re always pretty - but this - like - wow.”

A laugh bubbled up from your lips as he stumbled for the words. He laughed with you and then held out his arm for you to take. You slid your arm around his and the both of you walked into the Great Hall together.

Though you had spent the last seven years marvelling at the grandiosity of the Great Hall, it still took your breath away. Candles were lit amidst jack-o’-lanterns which floated in the ceiling. There was an ethereal aura of a glittering golden glow that swirled through the air. It moved as you walked through it. The tables were lined with crisp white linens and the centre stage was ready for dancing. There was a band at the far end of the hall that played gentle cocktail music. You spotted a rather grumpy looking group of large toads beside the band and wondered curiously which part of the concert they would make an appearance.

It was a little embarrassing once you realized that everyone you passed was staring at you. You looked into the eyes of people who saw you every day, but this time, they looked at you differently. The staring was perhaps supposed to be flattering, but the long gazes and gawks made you slightly uncomfortable and so you stared at the floor.

You spotted Nila, who wore the peach coloured dress she had bought from Gladrags. She looked beautiful. Her heels were nearly four inches high, and she towered over you. You smiled brightly and gave her a delicate hug. She stared at you, eyes wide. “You look gorgeous, Freya!”

Mo came by with swirling blue drinks and raised his brows when he saw you with Nathan. You told him to “shut it” under your breath and he winked at you.

“There’s Pom!” Nila said, and all of you drifted through the room, chatting along the way.

Pom was with a tall boy that you did not recognize. He had sandy skin and looked to be slightly younger than her. Brown curls fell around his temple and he smiled with deep dimples. She was looking beautiful in her short purple dress and ankle boots. Pom looked at you and audibly gasped. She showered you with compliments until you were sure that you would pass out from the embarrassment, but you smiled and nodded. After several minutes of catching up, you excused yourself and went for a drink.

The cool blue liquid slid down your throat and you exhaled after a few more gulps. You looked around from the drinks table at everyone. Couples surrounded the dancefloor, itching to dance. More students trickled in from the entrances and you saw Headmistress Frigga approach the stage. Her dress was a beautiful grey that almost looked silver. Flowers were pleated into the long braid down her back. You continued to look around the room, searching; where was he?

When you arrived back to the group, the Headmistress began her announcement.

“Welcome, teachers and students, to the annual Halloween Ball! Tonight will be a night of merriment and festivity. It shall be one to remember! Now, to send us off, let us begin with the customary dance.”

She stepped towards the stage, and Heimdall walked towards her. He was in more traditional dress robes but looked more like a king as he took her hand and led her into the centre stage. The band played a waltz and the two of them moved like swans in the water. Professor Fandral brought in Professor Sif and they danced. One by one, the teachers all started to dance. You saw a flash of red and gasped when you saw Valkyrie being twirled in the arms of Professor Odinson. He wore a black tuxedo and looked as handsome as a movie star. But it was Valkyrie that held your eye; she was show-stopping. Her red dress billowed as she danced and the slit opened just enough for your heart to race, but closed back up just as you got excited. You raised an eyebrow at her when she caught your eye and she laughed.

You looked at each of the teachers, and still could not see Professor Laufeyson. Just as your heart sank at the notion of him missing the ball, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned to see Professor Laufeyson holding out his hand. Your breath hitched in your throat when you looked at him. His hair was gelled back, and he held one hand out to you, with the other bent politely behind him. He wore a black suit with a silken green vest and tie that stood in contrast with his fair skin. He seemed to glow in the warm light of the Great Hall. His eyes twinkled and his cheeks were positively rosy. Your heart dashed into a mad rhythm as you took in his presence. “May I have the pleasure of this dance?” He said.

Pom, Mo, Nila and Nathan stood stock still, shocked. You took his hand without thinking twice or even looking back at your friends and Nathan.

“Good evening, Miss Eves,” he said, whisking you away and onto the dancefloor. He looked at you with a hungry gaze. “You look ravishing.”

You gulped as you placed one hand on his shoulder and one in his hand. His free hand was placed on the small of your back. When you glanced up at him, it was hard to remember your footing. “You clean up well yourself, master,” you said, lowering your voice for the last part.

He smiled at you and twirled you around as the music rose in pace. “My apologies for stealing you away from your date before the night has even begun,” he said without remorse.

You laughed. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty of time to get into trouble,” you said with a grin.

He raised a brow at you and pulled you closer. His arms were firm, and his body led you through the unfamiliar footwork with ease. You fell into step with him and your bodies felt as one, moving fluidly across the dance floor. He whipped you about and held you close all alongside with the music. Every time you turned back into him and your body slammed against his, you felt your desire increase exponentially. Now and then Professor Laufeyson would glance at your visible cleavage and you suppressed a smile. In a room filled with people who stared, he could look unblinkingly at you and you would not flinch. When his eyes were upon you, it felt as though you were flying.

During a slower part of the dance, you looked past him and noticed everyone looking at you again. No, not just you, but the two of you. Your face flushed, and you hesitated for a brief second as your thoughts grounded themselves again.

“Careful, any sudden moves and I’ll rip you to shreds,” Professor Laufeyson said under his breath. “At least, that’s what they all think.”

“Everyone is watching,” you said apprehensively.

He spun you around and dipped you back. A devilish smile stretched across his face. “Miss Eves, are you ashamed to be seen with the most evil man in Hogwarts?”

You shook your head as you brought you back up. “No, and you are not evil.”

The music swelled, and he spun you several times; you were thrilled and dizzy all at once. He ran a hand across your back, leaned in close, nearly inappropriate. “Oh my dear girl, you have no idea what I am.” His voice sounded almost sad, but when you tried to look into his eyes, he deflected your gaze by turning to the stage and clapping for the band.

Nathan approached the both of you hesitantly. “May I steal her back, Professor?”

You did not want to leave him, but any more sensual dances and you would become a puddly mess. Professor Laufeyson nodded and handed you over to Nathan, a gleam in his eyes that told you, ‘see you later’, as a sort of warning.

The next dance was more upbeat and now most of the students joined in and some teachers stepped away. You laughed when you observed the head of your house, Professor Bjorn, dancing rather erratically with himself. Then you noticed he was holding a ferret in his hand and doing a waltz. Valkyrie came over to you and gave you a tight hug. You held her close and both of you shouted each other’s ear over the music at the same time.

“Did I just see you dancing with Professor Odinson?”

“Did you just dance with Laufeyson?”

You both smiled widely at each other and broke into laughter. Arms still entangled, you jostled her gently. “What is going on between you two?” You said, glancing at her and then at Professor Odinson, who was now in conversation with Headmistress Frigga over by the tables.

Valkyrie looked down and then back up at you. “I have a lot to tell you,” she said. But then her eyes grew suspicious. “And what have you got to tell me? Shaggin’ the bad boy now?” She clicked her tongue and looked you up and down, impressed. “My sweet Hufflepuff, always surprising me.”

You hit her shoulder. “Stop it! I am not shagging him…” Not yet, at least...

“Can I cut in?” Nathan said, dancing over to you. You disentangled from Valkyrie who gave you a ‘this isn’t over’ look. You danced together in a big group with Pom, her date Vlad, Nila and Mo, and Valkyrie. Some other members of the Quidditch team came over and joined as well.

The music sped up into a fast-paced rock number as all of you jumped in the newly formed dance circle to show off your best moves. You laughed when Mo started raising the roof and waving his arms in the air and at one point you, Pom, Nila, and Valkyrie made a conga line while the boys watched you sway your hips. The song shifted into another tune seamlessly, and when you heard the croaking of the toads and you undeniably lost your shit.

“This is my JAM!” you said, grabbing Nathan by the hand and dancing away. He perked up at your moves and you spent the next hour sweating, swaying, jumping and having the time of your life.

After another half an hour, you were panting as you yelled, “I need a break!” And left them all on the stage. Your feet got sore but in a good ‘dancing pains’ kind of way. You went to refresh yourself and catch some air. Upon sneaking out the door, you did not realize that Nathan followed you until he gently grabbed your arm as you descended the stairs towards the garden. You jumped and nearly tripped on the stairs when he caught you and held you close.

“Careful,” he said, flashing you a gorgeous smile. You were frozen in place with a small flutter of butterflies in your stomach.

He leaned in and you thought about pushing him away, but your arms stayed still as he kissed you. It was not intrusive; it was more of a questioning sort of kiss. This kiss would have been perfect a month ago, when your life was normal and you weren’t falling for a mysterious man who may or may not be doomed.

He pulled away but continued to hold you. “You’re beautiful, Freya,” he said.

The slight flutter of butterflies now sank into stones from your guilt. You should not have led him on. “Nathan,” you said, taking a deep breath and stepping away from him. “You are so sweet, and handsome, and honestly, a lot of fun…”

“But you want to stay just friends?” he said, with a knowing look.

You looked up at him and nodded. “I’m sorry,” you said.

He seemed slightly crestfallen, but the smile never left his face. “It’s okay, and you’re pretty fun too.”

“Thank you for being such a great date,” you said.

He laughed and nodded, leaving you to go back inside. You appreciated what a gentleman he was about the whole thing. Many of your friends had rejected boys only to receive scorn, disdain, and sometimes downright violence. It warmed you to know that Nathan was one of the good ones and you hoped he would find someone extra special.

The night air was cool, and a gentle wind fanned against your skin. You closed your eyes as you wandered into the gardens. You looked at your watch and realized that it was nearly midnight. The balloons would explode at the stroke of midnight and the tiny pumpkins would be there to surprise everyone. You thought about returning, but the thought of tiny pumpkins nipping at your ankles was just not as appealing as spending your time in the night air surrounded by flowers and beautiful trees. You had gotten your fill of the Halloween prank last year, when the stone gargoyles had sprung to life and puked all over you and Valkyrie. Mo had laughed up a storm until a gargoyle flew across the Great Hall and vomited right on his head.

“Did the Headmistress not advise you to avoid wandering about alone?”

Your heart leapt at his voice. “I’m not alone,” you said, not looking back yet, and continued walking down the trail of gardens. A long row of willows stood gorgeously with their sweeping leaves blowing in the breeze.

He fell into step with you, a hand on your lower back. His touch made your chest tighten. Where else might his hands go?

“Thank you, by the way,” you said.

He glanced at you, not clear on your meaning.

“For the dress and necklace. I only wore them since I knew you would curse me if I didn’t,” you said with a teasing smile.

He chuckled. “That’s right, I would have.”

For several minutes, the both of you silently walked through the gardens; smelling the flowers without speaking. It was peaceful and not terribly awkward. There was a comfort that had set in when you were around him. However, after a certain amount of silence, you wondered why the man who loved to talk so much was particularly taciturn.

“You’re quiet tonight,” you said boldly. Perhaps it was the overexertion from dancing or the dress that gave you the delusional idea you could coax the truth out of this man, but regardless, you tried.

He shifted closer to you. “Perhaps I’m plotting to kidnap you as a part of my master plan, and lock you in a tower,” he said mischievously. You laughed loudly at his response.

“Do you always laugh when the villain reveals their grand plans?” he said, smiling. Though his smile did not reach his eyes.

You pushed him as you walked. “You’re not a villain,” you said.

“And how do you know that?” he said, stopping underneath a tall tree. You had wandered back towards the castle. The warm glow of the candles and pumpkins inside illuminated the windows in an orange light, as if the entire castle itself were one gigantic jack-o’-lantern.

There was a rustling, and you stepped away from Professor Laufeyson in case it was a student, or worse, a teacher, and a couple walked by. However, they barely glanced at the two of you, for they were far too busy searching for somewhere to...well...finish off the night. When they walked around the corner in a hushed fit of giggles and quiet moans, you took a step towards Professor Laufeyson again.

“I know you’re not a villain because there is warmth in your heart,” you said, placing a hand on his chest.

The moonlight reflected off his eyes and illuminated his face. You noticed a look of utter desperation in his expression that you had never seen before. It was there for only a second before it vanished with a raised brow. “What you see is a fire, Miss Eves; dangerous if you get too close,” he said and seized you with a grin. You wrapped your arms around him and his lips touched yours in a passionate embrace.

Your core awakened from the feel of his tongue gliding across your lips and the strength of his arms gripping you so tightly that you might break. But you wanted him closer, tighter. You bit his upper lip as he took a hand and palmed your breast through the fabric of your dress. It was as if a new feral hunger hit you. It took all your strength of will to not strip bare right in the garden and let him take you. You tangled your fingers through his hair and moaned as his hand grazed the most sensitive part of your breast.

A scream tore through the air. You broke the kiss and immediately felt the chill of the night. Screams erupted from the Great Hall. You and Professor Laufeyson glanced at each other before seeing several students run out the door in terror. Some were frantically moving about as if they were trying to get something off of their bodies. A boy was thrashing so hard that he ran down the stairs, knocking several people over along the way.

“It’s not supposed to be like that, they’re just pumpkins,” you said to Professor Laufeyson, alarmed at the chaos that ensued from the castle. What was going on?

It was then you saw a girl, completely pale and red-haired in a light blue dress. At first you thought she wore a strange patterned glove, but in fact, there were large black masses covering her arm. They wriggled over her skin and she screamed and shouted, “get them off! Get them off me!”

You both were about to run over to the crowd of students when a shriek closer to you echoed through the garden. “Help me! Please!” It was in the direction where the couple from earlier had gone.

You and Professor Laufeyson ran over to the couple and you saw the boy was crawling away on his hands and knees while the girl was trying to do the same. The boy shoved past you as the girl reached out for help.

A horrifying creature, about the size of a dog, was slithering through the garden. It was scaled and dark green with the body of a snake, but five times thicker. It had five heads protruding from its centre, and each head had a menacing pair of red eyes. Each head snapped its fangs at you and the girl. The creature hissed and lashed its barbed tail. You ran over to the girl and grabbed her by the arm to help her up.

The creature whipped its tail, and you pushed the girl away from it, right into Professor Laufeyson. You cried out when you felt its painful barbs against your leg. The creature hissed, and you saw five forked tongues, inches away from you. You tried reaching for your wand, but the pain had set in immediately and it was debilitating. You fell to your knees.

This was when the screaming and noise all slowed down, as if you were in a film. One moment the five heads reared back to bite you, the next, you saw an insanely bright green light. You heard someone screaming right next to your ear, and it annoyed you to the point you begged them to stop, only to realize that it was you that was screaming.

“What’s happening?” You said your words slurred.

Darkness edged your vision, and you saw Professor Laufeyson’s face above yours, looking terribly distressed. “Stay awake Freya! Stay awake!” It looked as if he was yelling at you, but his words sounded far away.

You felt yourself being carried, or floating away. Perhaps you were in the castle again? It was hard to tell. Your stomach was aching terribly and your whole body was sore. Shooting pain ran up your leg and your chest tightened. How you wished it would end, but as soon as the wave of pain ended, another wave rose. You thrashed back and forth trying to shake the feeling, but it would not stop. “Please, make it stop,” you screamed.

Darkness clouded your vision, and you saw Professor Laufeyson once again. This time he was saying things, but you could no longer hear him. “Loki,” you whispered, and everything went dark.

[teaspoon-full-of-sugar]

a flower for a flower

pairing: harry styles x reader

warnings: smut (i want to say pure smut, but i also ramble a lot, so it’s not just smut—close to it though), food innuendos and other cheesy things, fluff, harry in his pimp daddy outfit, oral (f & m receiving), exhibitionism (mentions of voyeurism), teasing, soft!dom feels, praising kink, a couple of good girls thrown in there

word count: 3.8k

synopsis: a walk on the beach leads to more 

author’s note: hi, i hope you're doing well :) sorry the synopsis sucks, but you know what i mean! xx hope you enjoy

masterlist

—

She’d never been the type to like the beach.

Granted, she had never been to an actual beach, like the ocean kind of beach, until she was well into her twenties, but that’s beside the point.

Then, she met Harry.

Harry, someone who has nothing but kindness and love in his soul, open for anyone who’s willing to take him, scared her when they first met. She has always been anxious, riddled with insecurities and tension, and to meet someone who breathed and exuded nothing but unadulterated confidence was absolutely terrifying. At that moment in time, she thought she could never be with someone who was like that, thinking that it would be difficult to keep up with someone like him.

And she was never one to take risks.

She will be forever grateful for finding someone who is able to open her eyes and give her the opportunity to see and do things that she never even dreamed about. It definitely helps that he is the way he is. She doesn’t think she would have ever found the courage to be the woman she is today without him being just him, kind and patient.

Now, the beach is their safe place. The ocean is their escape from the world around them, a peaceful place for them to simply be with each other.

It’s a little past noon, the sun high in the clear sky, with only a couple of clouds shrouding the beautiful day. She’s been sitting on the sidelines underneath a fluttering umbrella, working on some unfinished assignments she has for her classes. She hasn’t gotten much work done, however, not only because she gets easily distracted in general but also because of the teasing looks Harry shoots her.

She watches him through large sunglasses, a chipping gold coloured wire surrounding fading pink lenses, as he sits at the table once again, setting down a plate of watermelon atop the terribly ugly tablecloth. He told her how important this shot was before when they were driving to the beach location. With jittery hands and giddy eyes, he told her about how it was going to be the teaser that would be posted a couple days before the big release. Getting the “perfect” shot hasn’t been going too well, especially since Harry knocked over the glass of orange juice in the very first take.

Despite his pleas and the biggest pair of puppy dog eyes, she declined his offer to be a part of the video, opting to sit and watch from afar. She has never been one to put herself into any situation that forced the attention more on herself than necessary. Besides, when their relationship is in the public eye (it’s, sadly, an inevitable part of their journey), she doesn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about their relationship, that she’s simply using him to better herself.

The director calls for a quick lunch break before the next couple of scenes, and Harry took it as an opportunity to spend some time with her, having been distracted and busy for the better part of the day. He tugs her up from the worn chair, a brittle little thing that had been sitting in the patio of her rental house for what looks like centuries (she was honestly surprised when it didn’t crumble beneath her). Watching their footprints spread and sink and die beneath merciless waves as the tide rolls further and further in, they walk to a more isolated part of the beach.

A pair of green sunglasses, large and shaped like hearts, are perched on his head, pulling back the stray curls that always seem to fall onto his forehead, and the necklace she gave him for their anniversary sticks to the skin of his chest, just barely tucked beneath low swooping neck of a dark orange tank amongst an array of dozens of dangling charms and shells.

His eyes are crinkled form the blaring sun, but he still doesn’t move the glasses from his hairline; they don’t cover much of anything anyhow. His feet are still bare as he kicks through the sand, swinging their connected hands between them. The sun beats down on his freckled shoulders, and he savors the warmth. She stops suddenly and turns to face him, a faint smile creeping over her features as her nails tease across the green stitching of the tank.

“Ya know,” she begins, making him turn to face her. He has such a sweet little grin on his face, and she can’t help but melt at the sight. It never gets tiring being able to see Harry in his element.

He’s been beaming since they woke up this morning, especially since she told him she would be joining him at today’s shoot. While his other songs are very dear to him, they don’t hold a candle to Watermelon Sugar because it was made because of her; it was a culmination of everything he’s been through in the past two years, the highs and the lows.

It signifies his new beginnings with her.

When he met her, on that dry summer night, she made everything seemingly fall into place. And later that night, after a couple bottles of wine and a riveting game of twenty questions, he kissed her, her lips, soft and supple, tasting like cheap moscato and strawberries, and he felt like he was breathing for the first time; it was all very new and exciting and dangerous. He knew, after having just gotten out of a relationship, he shouldn’t put his heart so entirely on his sleeve, for fear of having it absolutely shattered. He fell for her hard and fast, despite his reservations and fears and common sense.

Looking back on it now, he’s glad he didn’t listen to his common sense. Then, he wouldn’t be walking with his soulmate on a beach now.

“You look really hot in this,” she says, her hands smoothing along his hips before connecting right above the curve of his bum. He cups her cheek, thumb tracing along the heated skin.

“Yeah?” His lips curl into a teasing smirk.

“Oh, yeah,” she returns the light tone, her nose just barely grazing against his. When she catches his lips, they’re sweet and sticky. She holds him steady by the cheeks, feeling the slight stubble. Hands grasped tightly to her bunched dress, he backs her up against a rock as her hands travel toward any piece of open skin she can feel, from his biceps to the tips of his fingers digging into her waist. She feels a rush of anxiety settles in her stomach as he hikes up her dress around her waist, his crotch grinding into hers.

While they used to fill her with dread, these nerves leave her eager and wanton, and she wants so badly to melt into him and have him take her however he wants, but that little voice, the one that always reminded her of every little thing that could possibly go wrong, is screaming at her to stop him. Harry, ever the pusher, who holds her hand and guides her through the things that she never thought she would before, would tell her to shove those fears back, that this is their moment to just be and live, just him and her, together.

Through her inner turmoil, she still focuses on her sensible side, and she hesitates.

“H,” she moans, tugging on his hair. He presses his lips to her neck, tongue dipping out to wet her skin, tasting, savoring her.

“Not that I’m not… loving what you’re doing, but—” Her voice breaks a little as he nibbles and sucks just below her jaw. “We could get caught,” she says breathily, and he pulls back, his hands still tucked in the hollow of her neck and her waist.

Despite the beach being very private, she can’t help but be worried that someone would catch them in such an intimate way, but he just gives her a comforting smile, their fingers interlacing at her hip, and she can feel her worries melt away. She still can barely believe that he can make nearly all of her nerves dissipate with just a simple look or touch.

“Isn’t that a part of the fun?”

Her heart jumps into her throat. Now, all she can think about how someone could catch them at any moment; all she can think about is how stupid and reckless it is for them, especially for him. It’s risky and nerve wracking, but her pussy still throbs in her underwear, wetness seeping into the already stained fabric. She could only imagine the person’s surprise if they rounded the corner to see him on his knees before her, her fingers tracing through his still wet hair as he works his mouth on her.

They’re hidden behind a set of pale rocks, plentifully dotted with dark moss. He nearly covers her, his thick arms resting on the rocks behind her, blanketing her in his shadow. He grinds his hips into her. She tucks a hand beneath the dark orange top, her thumb running along the fleshy meat of his hips, his sun kissed skin smooth beneath her touch. He spreads kisses down to that same weak spot beneath her jaw, still tender from his earlier ministrations.

“Okay,” she hums, finally sinking into him. Despite the heat from the burning sun, she embraces him, tugging and pulling him closer until they’re nestled close, chest to chest, his knee settled between her spread thighs, against the rock behind her.

“You jus’ gotta be quiet,” he mumbles.

That makes her chuckle.

“Me? I’m the loud one?”

Compared ot beginning of their relationship, she has learned how to be more expressive and emotive and assertive when it comes to sex, often telling him exactly what she needs, how she needs it, and when, but she still isn’t near as loud or talkative as he is. He could chatter her ear off about any just anything while he’s fucking her. Initially, it was odd; sex was never an experience she considered to be something that was really open or comfortable, if that makes sense. She always saw it as something that was supposed to be taken very seriously, and it was somewhat of a personal experience, despite it being between two people.

But, perhaps, that was just her anxiety telling her that it’s not a good idea, or it was because of her innermost fear of embarrassing herself.

However, it’s moments like these, where she can barely comprehend the world around her, only being able to move her head slightly, the words completely caught in her throat, that she’s glad that he talks her through everything; she’s glad that she can bear witness to the filthy words that leave his lips, words that make her tremble and quake with anticipation.

He cups her through thin panties, his nails tracing her swollen lips. His rings offer a different kind of friction, one she yearns for, rigid and relentless. She hooks a knee around his waist, and he cups the back of her thigh, the cotton of her dress pooling around his elbow. He pushes the panties to the side with his free hand.

“Your poor little peach,” he pouts teasingly, voice soft. He pinches her puffy clit, and her hips buck against the sudden, harsh touch. “So wet and swollen. ‘M sorry, babylove. If I knew you were feelin’ tingly, would’ve taken this walk earlier.”

He kisses behind her ear, fingers spreading her wetness over her folds, paying special attention to her painfully hard button, throbbing and aching from his faint brushes across her sensitive skin. She whines, head sinking against the rocks, eyes fluttering closed. He pulls her lips apart, until she’s full open to him, her tight, clenching hole seeping with arousal.

“What got you this worked up, lovie?”

Her thighs tremble and shake, her knees threatening to give at any moment.

“Was thinking about… you,” she admits softly, sweetly, and she can feel his bulge thicken just a little more against her.

“Me?” He has an incredulous tone, but the darkening edge to the laughter that punctuates it makes her thighs close around his hand. “Little ol’ me?” A flare of pink has started to form on the rounds of his cheeks, probably from the sun, but it looks cute on him.

“What were you thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“This,” she chokes out. That’s all she can really say at this point. With the pressured circles he’s kneading into her poor, swollen clit, she can’t think coherently. It’s not enough to make her come yet, but it’s enough to keep her satiated, just enough for her to teeter on the brink of insanity.

“Dirty girl,” he says, “thinking ‘bout me eating your pretty little peach out here, where anyone could see, your honey drippin’ down your thighs.” She clenches, aching and throbbing at his words. She can feel her arousal slip down her thighs. “Anyone could see us out here, sweetness.” He tuts, tapping the tips of his fingers against her poor bud, her hips buck at the slight friction, and she whines pitifully.

“Or is that what you wanted?”

He cocks his brow. He strokes his fingers along her swollen lips, nails slightly grazing the tender, pink inside, which makes her hips jolt into his touch. Breathing ragged, the meat of her thighs tense from his gentle touches, teasing and fleeting.

“Maybe you wanted someone to see us. You wanted them to watch me make you come with my mouth. Maybe they’ll think about those pretty noises you make while they come. Is that what you wanted?”

He sinks two fingers into her sopping pussy, stretching and filling her, and she cries out at the sudden relief. The burning ache inside her is quelled just a little bit more as he curls his fingers into her little spot. She slips, the rough rocks grating against the skin of her bare back; the pain lingers and heightens her senses, the throbbing pleasure from his movements sinking deep into her bones. He catches her before she can fall, knee still holding her up.

“Yes,” she whines, grinding into him. He sinks to his knees.

“So pretty, babylove,” he praises as he pulls back the hood of her clit. “Such a perfect little peach.” Suckling and nibbling at her swollen bud, her hips buck in time with his lips. He runs the flat of his tongue along the underside of her clit, her taste making his cock stir in his pants. Her walls clench around his fingers, sucking and pulling him deeper inside her. He pulls his lips back, his thumb pressing harshly into her bud, a stark contrast to the warmth from his mouth. He kisses the inside of her trembling thigh.

“Can you take another?”

She nods desperately, her hips grinding against him. He easily slips another finger, and he smiles as more arousal seeps down to his wrist.

“Never taken three, have ya? My good girl, so fuckin’ wet f’me,” he says, pulling at her swollen button with his free hand.

“What else were you thinkin’ ‘bout?”

She struggles to speak, her world still spinning and blurred from her impending orgasm. Her pussy tightens near painfully around his ring-clad fingers.

“Tell me,” he coaxes her, fingers fucking into her at a brutal pace, leaving her breathless and incoherent. She mumbles something through broken whines, her heaving chest stuttering. She can’t even keep her eyes open as she chases her coming high, her wetness squelching between his fingers.

“What was that?”

“Wanna choke on your cock,” she says through ragged moans. He smirks against her thigh.

“You want me to pull your hair back and tell you how much of a good girl you are while you take my cock in your pretty little mouth?”

“Yes, please,” she whines. She can actually feel her mouth water at the thought of shoving his cock deep in her throat with him moaning and claiming her and taking what he wants.

“Come for me, babylove, and then, you can have my cock,” he coos.

Her high takes over her with a burning fire, igniting every vessel in her body with ecstasy, sending waves of tremors and chills through her muscles, until it settles to smoldering embers, leaving her hungry and eager for him. She tugs him into a biting kiss, teeth tugging at his teasing lips. She wants to rip that orange top from him to feel his glistening skin against her, from the hardness of his chest to the soft little pooch that settles around his hips and stomach. She can’t now, but she’ll definitely have to play out that fantasy some other time.

He sits on his bum, the burning sand shifting and settling up around his thick thighs, but he doesn’t take much notice in that as she pushes his thighs apart, eagerly tugging his pants down. There’s a pretty red, nearly purple, hue to the head of his cock, precum slipping from the slit.

The fabric of his pants bunch up tightly underneath his balls, but it offers the perfect amount of pressure whenever his hips buck up. Her tongue traces along her lips, bitten and puffy, her eager eyes taking in everything he has to offer. His cock jumps a little under her gaze.

“Take it, lovie,” he moans.

And take it she does.

She licks the little divot of his balls, wetting the pliable skin before massaging her thumb into him, the way she knows he likes it. His eyes roll back. She presses the head into the soft skin of her cheek, making them puffed and protrude. She sinks further and further down, her wet lips tight and absolutely perfect against him.

“So pretty, baby,” he sighs, eyes fluttering closed as her throat tightens around him. Her teeth just slightly graze the throbbing vein on the bottom part of his shaft, making him twitch.

She grips tightly onto his pleated pants, twisting the thin fabric in little fists as she takes him entirely this time, choking her. Saliva dribbles from her lips to the swell of his balls, and he cups them, spreading the wetness over his sensitive skin. When she lets up, a string trails from her lips to the throbbing head.

“Such a good girl f’me,” he moans, brushing some wetness from her chin. He can feel himself twitch again at the sight of her, lashes clinging together with unshed tears, lips soft and plump and wet—she looks ethereal, absolutely divine. Her breasts are pressed tightly together, shifting slightly with every move of her wrist.

“My best girl.”

She jerks him in quick, wet strokes, the obscene sounds nearly muffled by the crashing waves nearby. A swell of wind brushes through, rustling his hair, and it sends chills down his spine, leaving his thighs quivering.

“Gonna come?” His sweet’s voice is raw and wrecked, and it makes him throb. She breathes sharply through her teeth, wiping her lips crudely with the back of her hand. She lets a thick drop of saliva slip past puckered lips and onto his swollen cock, and his hips jolt up as it trails teasingly down the ridges until it stops in her hand at the base of his cock, nestled tightly against the fine curls. Her other hand teases along the tip, just barely slipping it through her loose fist.

“Please, wanna taste it,” she whimpers, and he swears he could black out. His body is overwhelmed by his racing heart; he can feel it everywhere, from his ears to the tips of his toes, blood rushes through him, heating his skin. She wraps her lips tightly around the head, her cheeks hollowed, and she looks at him with hooded eyes, begging, pleading with him.

Her tongue suckles at that special spot on the underside of the tip that makes him see stars. With trembling hands brushing back the flyaways from her forehead and his face scrunching up, eyes closed, a toe-curling, all-consuming orgasm rushes through him and leaves his hips bucking and skin sticky. She laps at his cum, her pretty, puffy lips still wrapped around him to coax him through his high.

He pulls her up, his hands cupping the back of her neck, and she straddles him, his softening prick lying between them, still twitching slightly. He tugs her lips onto his, molding them together with swollen lips, saliva, and sweetness, twinged with salt and sex. He pulls their lips apart to finally catch his breath, but she continues to press her lips to his tender skin, her comforting kisses bringing him out of his euphoria induced lull.

A cute little purple flower catches the corner of his eye. It’s the only one sprouting beneath a heavy layer of sand, just barely peeking beyond the surface. He picks it.

“A flower for my flower,” he says sweetly, and she takes it, her eyes soft. She looks it over.

“I’m pretty sure this is a weed,” she laughs, rolling the stem between her fingers, and his eyes widen in offence.

“No, it’s a native wildflower.” He tries to defend himself, but she isn’t having it, soft billows of laughter falling from her swollen, wet lips. He pouts. “Fine, then, jus’ take my gift and completely squander it.”

Ever the dramatic one.

She stands up, brushing the sand that accumulated in the folds of her dress.

“Put your cock away. We should head back before everyone gets suspicious,” she says.

“After everything I do for you, you still make me put my own cock away,” he scoffs, teasing smile still curled over his features. He shakes his head.

“Last time I did, you said I was bein’ too rough,” she says, brow cocked and hip jutted. He concedes to her and tucks himself back into his slacks. “C’mon, sugar butt,” she says, pulling him onto his feet. He stumbles, standing more onto the heels of his feet to get used to the heat of the sand. She has the flower tucked behind her ear.

If anyone noticed their beaming smiles or their rumbled clothes or the scratchiness to her voice, they don’t say anything. They don’t say anything then, or when Y/N parts from him with a quick peck on the cheek and a pinch to his bum. They don’t say anything when he gives her even more teasing glances when he’s in front of the camera or when he stops by her after a quick wardrobe change and gives her a deep kiss, followed by a whispered promise of more to come.

—

[eggjorp]

Ch2 - Boxers or Briefs?

Main Masterlist

3AM Masterlist

Chapter 1 - Insomnia

Next

Notes: swearing, angst, comedy, 3k

You end up drifting off at around six and wake up to both your alarm blaring at half past eight and your head throbbing with a similar kind of ring. You get out of bed, sighing as you trudge to the bathroom, getting ready for class.

You swap your pyjama bottoms for jeans and throw a hoodie on top, grabbing the bag you carefully packed the night before (one of your few good habits) and a banana you stuff into your mouth as you leave. Once you arrive in class you silently sit next to your group of friends and grab the closest source of caffeine.

“Black coffee? Are you fucking with me? You’re such an old man oh my god!” you exclaim after taking a big gulp of the stolen coffee.

“Yet you’re still happily drinking it? Fuck off that’s mine, you kept me up late I need it!” Doyoung retorts.

“I didn’t do shit actually. If I remember correctly you told me to shut the fuck up and you went to bed. And you ignored me! A lot! I told you, I’m sensitive!” you pout as you hand him back his coffee. During this interaction the rest of your friends sit there in confusion, you don’t bother trying to explain, not enough energy.

“Okay did y’all fuck or what?” Jaehyun asks pointedly, and Johnny tuts at him for his explicitness. Instead of replying you wink at Jaehyun and ignore Doyoung’s disapproving glare. Jaehyun gasps dramatically, “Oh my god y’all really fucked? I thought you guys were like archenemies, but FINALLY!” his words catch the attention of the people sitting around but it doesn’t last long as he offers them his signature charming smile as an apology.

“We didn’t fuck, they texted me at three am and five am, calling me a bum and a poopyhead? They’re actually so immature. How you’re at such a prestigious university I’ll never understand. Perhaps you paid your way in? Fucked the dean of admissions?” he turns to you, quirking his eyebrow.

You give him a smirk, “Darling, you don’t need to worry about how eventful my sex life is. If I were you I’d worry about yours.” you poke, knowing full well Doyoung prioritises his studies over relationships. It is something you admire but you would never tell him that, god no, you would never give him the satisfaction.

“Should I be envious that your grades resemble your sex life? Full of Ds?” he snaps back, and you purse your lips to stop a snort, as you reach down to pull your laptop out of your bag and hide your face.

Before the lecture starts you reach your hand over Jaehyun to grab Doyoung’s coffee once more, finishing it with a quick gulp before smiling sweetly and dropping it into the bin beside you at the end of the row.

“That was uncalled for.” Doyoung’s jaw tenses and he glares at you. If eyes could kill, you would be dead ten times over by now. Nothing new though, you’ve grown immune to his stare considering how many times you’ve fallen victim to it. Annoying Doyoung is the highlight of your day—no, week— and has become part of your routine.

“Guess what?” you lean over the desk and beckon Doyoung to lean over and meet you in the middle. He stares at you blankly, refusing to move, and you roll your eyes, “Your face was uncalled for.” you grin, once more, before returning to your seat and focusing your attention on the start of the lecture.

“For fucks sake, the stubble in my armpits keeps stabbing me. It's so uncomfortable!” you rub at them, hoping to soothe the skin. Johnny laughs and Doyoung rolls his eyes. “I don’t think that’s information we needed to know.”

“Your face isn’t information we needed to know.” you bite back, sticking your tongue out at him,  watching his jaw tense and teeth grinding.

“You know, if you keep grinding your teeth like that, you’re gonna flatten them all. You’re gonna look like an old man with no teeth at the age of 25!” you snort, pointing your finger at him.

“I wouldn’t grind them if you didn’t stress me out so much!” he scoffs.

“I wouldn’t stress you out if you didn’t stress me out!” you immediately return. Johnny is laughing at you both for the entire duration of this conversation and inwardly you congratulate yourself for providing such brilliant entertainment.

“What the fuck do I do?” he asks as you three reach the McDonald’s, “You exist.” you deadpan, ignoring him as you walk past him to get into line. He rolls his eyes for about the twentieth time today and doesn’t respond. Doyoung decides it’s better to ignore you back.

“Johnny, Dongyoung, what do you guys want?” you ask.

“Umm, cheeseburger, fries, strawberry milkshake,” Johnny responds, followed by silence. You look expectantly at Doyoung.

“Hey? You big bum, what do you want?” you ask Doyoung, poking his side. He falters for a second, “Uh, Chicken nuggets, Large.”

You nod and turn to order, “But why?” you look back at him, confused, “Why are you ordering me food?”

This time it’s you who rolls their eyes, “Are you rejecting free food? Okay, I see how it is.”

“No, I’m not! Just wondering...” you ignore and order, telling them to sit down as you wait for your food. Once you return with the food you sit down, drinking your hot chocolate and munching on some chips.

“Yo, have you guys watched the new Pokémon movie yet?” Johnny asks. You shake your head.

“It’s probably gonna be shit. People go for the Pokémon, not the plot.” Doyoung pokes. “The plot is the Pokémon you dumbass,” you respond.

“Regardless of the plot or the Pokémon let’s go watch it!” Johnny suggests excitedly. Reluctantly you all make your way to the cinema, buying a large popcorn to share, and get your tickets for the movie.

“Hey, Doyoung?”

“What?”

“You’re an expired waffle.” The room may be dark, but you don’t need light to know that Doyoung was rolling his eyes.

“You’re a useless paperclip.” he retorts and at this, you gasp “Kim Dongyoung how fucking dare you.”

He smirks and feigns innocence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You narrow your eyes at him and give his wrist a light slap, “You know exactly what I’m talking about! I used that insult and you said it was dumb and now you’re using it!”

Doyoung slaps your wrist back, “A dumb insult for a dumb person eh?” your mouth is wide open. You’re astounded that he dares give you this attitude, so you do what any normal person does— you grab a handful of popcorn and drop it down his shirt.

This, of course, causes Doyoung to yell and a little girl to stand up from her seat, turn around and say, “Excuse me can you please be quiet?” Doyoung grabs at your hand, still hovering over his shirt and you both politely apologise. Johnny is cracking up, as expected, and Doyoung is boiling with anger. You can practically see the steam tumbling out of his ears and the scowl across his face is clear in the light from the screen.

“You’re helping me get it off!” still with your hand in his grasp he stands up, pulling you along with him, and some popcorn falling to the floor with a crackle.

“What the fuck am I meant to do?” you whisper but he pays you no attention and urges you to walk down the stairs.  The audible crunch of the stray popcorn under your feet after every step makes you wince and Doyoung’s grip on your wrist remains tight. Reluctantly you follow him out of the theatre doors.

“You’re such a fucking child! Now I have popcorn stuck in my boxers, Y/N, my BOXERS!” he frantically pulls on his shirt, trying to rid himself of the small kernels.

“You seem more of a briefs guy to me...” you respond with a cheeky smile, attempting to keep the mood light-hearted.

“You’re going to pay for this!”

“Hey, I bought you McDonald's, didn’t I?”

“That doesn’t give you a free pass to shove popcorn down my shirt! What is it with you, seriously!” his irritation only heightens with your responses, allowing for some harsh words to fall from his mouth.

“Do you have any common sense at all? We’re trying to watch a movie for god’s sake, and you’re just playing around like an immature child! Can you not be sensible for one fucking moment?” you furrow your eyebrows while listening to him berate you.

“Alright there, Mr Kim, maybe you wanna slow down for a second? Go clean yourself up and take a breath.” you try to be the sensible adult he doesn’t think you can be and hold back with further insults.

“Oh great, now I seem like the bad guy,” he says, giving up in trying to rid himself of the popcorn remains.

“Don’t worry, we know in this situation you’re the adult and I’m the child you get to lecture.” You cross your arms and squint at him, struggling to hold in your own irritation.

“Your passive-aggressiveness is really subtle you know!” you take a step closer and tilt your head with a sweet smile, “Well I learnt from the best!”.

His jaw tenses and your eyes quickly flit to it before returning to his, “Seriously, stop grinding your teeth— but you don’t need to take my advice! Who in their right mind would listen to an immature child, right?”

You try to walk past him to go back into the theatre but Doyoung lightly grasps your forearm. “I didn’t mean what I said...”

You turn to look back, faces only centimetres away but eyes filled with spite, “Yes, you did. In your eyes I’m nothing but an irritating child, but you’re right so it’s fine.” you yank your arm away and re-enter the theatre, returning to your seat.

“Everything okay?” Johnny asks.

“Yep. He just got really pissed.”

“Oh, because of the popcorn?” Johnny offers you a sympathetic smile.

“Because I’m apparently immature and dumb and can’t be sensible.” you scoff.

“I mean, you did chuck popcorn down his shirt...”

“And he’s slipped ice down the back of mine? It’s mutual. Or at least I thought it was.” you sigh, frustrated that the day had to turn sour so quickly for no good reason.

You and Johnny end the conversation there, even when Doyoung returns. The extent of any other conversations consisting of the occasional comment about the movie. The movie ends, and you take your time getting up, stretching your limbs and yawning.

“That was actually a decent movie.” Johnny expresses.

“Yeah, it was okay, but I feel like it was more plot twist than plot,” you joke, both boys chuckle and hum in agreement but you pay no attention to Doyoung.

“Let’s go get sushi?” Johnny suggests. You groan in response “I’m a broke bitch and I bought us all McDonald’s earlier! Only if you pay?” you give Johnny a sweet smile, but he responds with a look of pity, “Hoe, I’m broke too...”

After exchanging a knowing look for a few moments, you both turn to Doyoung with that same sweet smile, and he knows exactly what you want.

“Ugh fine, but there’s a cap on how much you can spend!” he groans and begins walking ahead while you and Johnny cheer together.

Johnny links his arms with yours as you follow Doyoung to the restaurant, the time filled with absentminded chatter.

“Alright fellas, I need to go to the toilet, don’t kill each other while I’m away!” both you and your frenemy roll your eyes and ignore him, continuing to eat your meals.

After about thirty seconds Doyoung breaks the silence, “I’m sorry about earlier.” and while you would love to snap back with something rude and witty, you swallow your anger and echo his short apology.

Johnny comes back and, although you still aren’t speaking, he can sense the tension has dissipated and is content with the progress. A few more jokes and beers later you all end up outside of the restaurant, Johnny insisting he’s fine even though he keeps mixing up his home address with a bar nearby and you send him home by taxi, opting for a train as you’re not sure your bank account could take another hit.

As you and Doyoung live relatively close you take the same train home and so are walking to the same train station.

“Uh, can we stop here for a second? I need to get some things.” he pauses outside of a convenience store and you give him a small nod. A few minutes later he remerges with a white carrier bag in his hands.

The pair of you continue walking, breathing in the cold air, and he pulls out an item from the carrier bag, grasping your hand and placing the item in your palm, before closing your fist and giving it a tight squeeze.

“Drink this tea before bed, it’ll make you sleepy, there’s no caffeine.” you chuckle quietly at his gesture and tuck it inside your backpack.

“Why did you get me this?”

“I didn’t want to wake up to your dumb messages calling me a poopyhead,” he complains of fake annoyance.

The corners of your lips turn up slightly and you utter a soft “Thank you,” but that’s all until you get to the train station and make your way onto the train.

The lights are bright compared to the dark sky presented behind the dusty window. A few people are scattered along the carriage, a man in formal wear, a few students, an older woman, and some young men.

A stop in you hear a whisper in your ear,

“Actually, I do wear briefs but they’re all in the wash so I had to resort to boxers,” at first it startles you, not expecting the warm breath, but you smile and turn to look at him. Doyoung tries to suppress a smile and look straight ahead but as you continue to stare at him, laughing quietly, he can’t help but let a few noises escape. He then quickly buries his face in his hands and you both melt into a pile of giggles.

“I can still feel the popcorn scratching my chest,” he says in-between snorts, “You deserved it, to be honest,” you counter,

“You always say I deserved it!”

“That’s because you do!”

Your loud laughter gains the attention of the few people in the carriage and you begin shushing each other, it doesn’t make it any better, but you continue regardless.

A few seconds later Doyoung grabs at your hand and pulls you up, “Our stop!” dragging you along and he runs off the train. It takes you a few seconds to realise what’s happening but you’re already off the train, hearing the beeping signifying the doors are closing only moments before you leapt out. Doyoung stops suddenly and you crash into his side, unprepared for it.

“Woah there!” you grab onto his arm for stability, “I can’t believe we almost missed our stop,”

Doyoung laughs and starts walking towards the exit, “See, I’m so reliable. Unlike someone...”

You roll your eyes, “I almost got smushed by those doors, less reliable more lucky!”

He looks at you with fake offence, a hand on his chest in a mock upset, “You’re just rude that's what you are.”

“You’re just rude, that's what you are.” you imitate him with a high pitched voice, and he narrows his eyes at you before shoving your hand off his arm and speeding his walking up.

“Nooo! Doyoung! Don’t be mad!” he continues to walk away silently, and you speed up to match his tempo. You get to the crossing where you go separate ways, he continues without you and so you get his attention the only way you can.

“WE’LL TAKE THE HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN AND I CAN’T WAIT TO LOVE YOU ALL ALONE—” he runs after you and slams his hands over your mouth to stop your screeching, taking a few steps backwards due to the force of colliding. He lowers his hand slightly to your shoulder and places his other hand on your back to stop you both from falling.

You hold onto his jacket and laugh, and his head hangs low in shame, “I can’t believe you I really can’t. You’re insane, you know that right?” you continue to giggle and just nod in response. He shakes his head, but you can see the corners of his lips turning up, “I should’ve left you on that train when I had the chance.”

“Nooo,” you whine, “You can’t leave ME! I’m your BEST FRIEND!” he gives you a dirty look and you shift your attention to the other students passing by in a group, “Guys! I’m his best friend!” they just chuckle, and one yells “That’s nice!”

You turn back to Doyoung, who is groaning and embarrassed, “You’re not my best friend! We’re enemies, remember?” he widens his eyes and shakes his head at you, “That’s not what you were saying last night...” you trail off. He narrows his eyes again, “Last night you called me a poopy head and I told you to go to sleep...”

“Didn’t say I was your enemy though!”

“Didn’t say you were my best friend though!” he offers you another dirty look and you pout in response.

“Hey, Kim Dongyoung, don’t be mean!”

“I’m not! I’m—”

“BABY YOU A BAD GIRL WATCH YOUR MOUTH—” he pulls at your jacket to try and drag you home, “Shut up you’re gonna wake everyone up!”

You let him drag you, reluctantly, “No I won’t, I’m not even that loud!”

“We’ll take the highway to heaven,” you finish with a sulk.

“I swear to god you’re such a child!” he groans.

“Yeah, but I’m your child.” you retort and he looks at you in confusion,

“I’m not your dad?” you wink in response, knowing full well you’re not making any sense, and he lets go of your jacket, shoving you away, the playful atmosphere quickly being replaced by a cold one. You finally feel the cool breeze of the wind and there’s a bitter taste in your mouth.

“Why do you always do this Doyoung?” you’ve both stopped on the side of the road.

“Do what?” he asks, his expression showing irritation.

“We’re having fun messing about and then you get all cold and icy. Just like at the cinema.” you finally spill what’s been on your mind for a while now.

“I don’t! You put popcorn down my shirt, of course I was gonna react like that— if anything you took it too far!”

“That’s just how we play around is it not? You’ve done plenty of similar things. I honestly thought we were friends who joke around that they hate each other, but I guess not. I guess you really do hate me and you’re just not able to tolerate my bullshit anymore.” he furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth to say something, but you don’t give him the chance.

“Goodbye, Doyoung.” you say before walking away, leaving him standing in the cold.

[beomglocks]

terror ave. ; c.bg

warnings and other: um?, theres a serial killer, murder is mentioned, nothing too detailed, not proofread bc i wrote this at 4am

"we advise everyone to be in complete lockdown as there have seemed to have been reports of a serial killer gone loose in the area. so far no one has been injured but we suggest taking extra precautions tonight. please do not go outside during this time. lock your doors, close your windows, and turn off all the ligh-"

frowning, you look down at the tub of ice cream situated in between your legs. you lick the ice cream from your spoon as the rest of the news report gets drowned out by your thoughts. wait- shit i think i forgot to lock the back door... you shrug. you forgot that you had invited your neighbor beomgyu over, earlier in the day. he had insisted that he had a cool new pokemon to show you on his switch and you, stupidly, allowed him to show you. to your dismay, it only turned out to be a measly skwovet.

"gyu, you can literally catch these at route 1. you know, in the beginning of the game?" you had told him with a disappointed look on your face. "you're on your 5th gym."

he had gasped in offense, bringing his switch closer to his chest to shield the creature from further judgment. "y/n how dare you! it's the cutest pokemon in the game so of course, i went back to get one. don't you think you're being too mean?"

you giggled to yourself remembering the little back and forth. you've been living alone in your current house for only a couple of months. you were surprised your parents let you move out and have a whole house in the suburbs to yourself considering how strict and overprotective they were. upon moving, you quickly befriended choi beomgyu, the literal boy next door. he had offered to help you get your couch through the door and proceeded to eat his melting chocolate bar on said couch. from then on you and him have been best friends ever since, sometimes having him sleepover or vise versa.

you weren't worried about some rando serial killer in your neighborhood since nothing ever happened to you. you were convinced you weren't the main character.

from your couch, you looked outside to see that beomgyu's lights were already turned off. he must've gone to sleep early. your eyes catch the clock on your wall and you subconsciously yawn when you see how late it is. 1:56 am? damn... i should probably go to sleep too.

you pick up the tub of ice cream and take it back to your kitchen. its fucking chilly in here. you rub your arms as goosebumps start to form on them. you peek around the corner of the wall dividing your kitchen to where the back door is located. it's slightly cracked open and that raises some bit of concern in your head. again, you shrug. you remember beomgyu leaving out the back door since he liked coming in from the back instead of the front. an odd quirk of his that you never got to question him about because every time you tried he would simply smile at you cutely and say something like "its cool that's why."

you walk over to the door while being cautious about where you step since your house was pretty messy. you shut the door and sigh, dragging your body towards the living room again to turn the tv off. the news reporter was just about to give more instructions but frankly, you're too tired to care.

now that the tv was turned off you felt a weird sense of loneliness. the white noise being emitted from the screen becoming a bit too deafening to your ears to handle. you switch the tv off properly and toss the remote somewhere on the couch.

you walk up to your bedroom while scrolling through your Instagram feed. you laugh at the caption of beomgyu's latest post because it's alluding to the argument you both had earlier and type a comment hoping that he'll have time to read it when he wakes up.

when you reach your bedroom you toss your phone haphazardly on your bed and flop yourself into the sheets. today was fairly unproductive but that's been the premise of your days lately. you wonder how you manage to do absolutely nothing yet feel the weight of 10 thousand bricks on you back.

you sigh as you feel yourself slowly drift off to sleep but a noise in the room next door startles you. if you had been fully asleep you probably wouldn't have heard it but you're sure you heard a noise even in your half-asleep state. you sit up in your bed pulling the sheets closer to you. you decide to hold your breath in case you hear another noise or if you're just being delusional and sleep-deprived.

you wait for a while and after 5 minutes you don't hear anything. you sigh quietly but before you can settle back and get back to sleep you hear another noise. ok, you know for sure you have no roommates and beomgyu always tells you he's coming over before he does. the room you're hearing the noises from is the storage room where you keep all the extra furniture and miscellaneous items that you haven't had the chance to use or set up yet so nothing should be moving in there. you also recall the movers checking the house for any squatters since that seemed to be more common than most people would think. that day you had been happy and relieved to know that there was none of that in the house.

a thought crosses your mind that it could be the serial killer that's on the loose currently. if that's the case then the killer is in your house, a few feet away, in a room that has old kitchen knives that you decided don't need to be displayed.

you stare at your door while reaching for your phone. you can hear the person walking around the room and dragging the knives across the wall in a menacing manner and that's when the anxiety finally kicks in. your eyes start filling up with tears at the thought of a deranged serial killer being just a couple feet away from you, literally a wall away.

you feel your phone graze your hand and grab it shakily, slowly getting up from your bed. you don't wanna call anyone right now since the walls are thin, the killer might hear you then it's really game over. once you get to your bedroom door, you push it open so painfully slowly that you just wanna sob right there. you hate that something like this is seriously happening to you.

the killer doesn't seem to be out in the open yet. you figure they're still deep in the storage room. that gives you some time to get out of your house and maybe run to a police station or something. you walk out into the hall and cautiously walk down the stairs hoping they won't do that annoying thing where they creak in intense moments. thankfully though, you make it down the stairs.

immediately, you bolt out of your house. you don't know why but you have the sudden idea to ask beomgyu for help. you run to his house and ring the door repeatedly, you don't care if you're being annoying. you look back at your own house and all the lights are still turned off except for your bedroom lights which you left on. hopefully, the killer isn't persistent and won't come looking for you. you turn back to beomgyu's door and keep ringing the doorbell hoping his ass will wake up since you know he's a heavy sleeper. "come on, come on. fucking choi beomgyu, come on!" you whisper anxiously.

suddenly the door swings open and an angry but half asleep beomgyu is standing there. his hair is disheveled and his face is scrunched up in confusion and drowsiness. you push past him and jump on his couch covering yourself with one of his pillows. "y/n? what the fuck are you doing. it's like 2 am?" he shuts the door, walking over to you.

"is everything locked? the windows? the door just now?" you look up at him, biting your lip. "yes everything is locked and look," you watch him walk back to the front door and lock it. "now the door is locked. mind telling me why you bum-rushed into my house at the ass crack of dawn?"

"gyu-" you can't even manage to get a proper sentence out because a broken sob leaves your mouth rather than words. you walk up to him and hug him tightly. you don't care that you're probably soaking his t-shirt with your tears, you need him to know that you really care about him and you were almost permanently separated from him today. "y/n?"

"gyu t-the killer. the s-serial killer! he's in m-my house right now," you sob even harder into his shirt and you're glad he feels warm because those 2 minutes of ringing his doorbell out there made you almost freeze to death. especially since you're only wearing your pjs which consisted of a t-shirt and short shorts.

you feel him hug you back and you sigh shakily as he rubs your back to comfort you. "y/n," he says simply. you pull away from him, which you immediately regret because you start to feel cold again. "w-we need to call the police," you wipe your tears harshly but to no avail, since they just keep falling against your will.

you take your phone from your pocket and start to dial but beomgyu takes your phone from you and pockets it into his sweats. "y/n, i've never seen you cry. you look so pretty when you cry," he leans closer to your face and you flinch when he brings his hand up to caress your cheek before wiping a stray tear from it.

"gyu, we need t-to call the police! it's not the time f-for games. give me my phone please," you move his hand away from your face and motion for him to give your phone back. he chuckles right in your face, mockingly.

"please, she says."

you watch expectantly as he takes your phone out of his pocket but feel your heart drop with it as he lets it fall to the floor with a deafening crack. if that wasn't enough, you watch in disbelief as he stomps on it with force, effectively rendering it useless.

your eyes start to fill with tears again and the sinking feeling that beomgyu isn't gonna help you starts to settle. "w-why," you blubber. you fall to the ground in defeat and confusion. you don't even have the strength to run to the door to get proper help because you felt you had no energy after watching beomgyu turn his back on you.

"ever since you moved here i've had my eye on you. i really like you y/n. scratch that, i love you y/n. the other girl that lived in the house before you was boring so i had her killed off within the first week of her moving here. i mean she was pretty but you're gorgeous, i like you much more." he lifts you off the ground and examines your face to see how your taking in this information. you can't even speak because of the burning sensation in your throat from trying to hold back your tears so hard.

"i bailed that asshole killer out of jail and hired him to kill people for me," he continues. "didn't actually wanna get my hands dirty."

he moves you to sit on the couch as if this is just another normal conversation between friends. it finally clicks in your head what's happening and you stand up and snap at him. "what the fuck gyu? i thought you were just a regular person what the fuck is wrong with you!" you begin to walk to the front door but he grabs you with a force you've never felt him use before.

"y/n really? i've been protecting you this whole time!" you can sense that his patience is thinning. "all this time! when we walked to the store and those guys catcalled you, i had them killed. that guy that hit on you in our seminar class, he's gone!" he smiles wickedly and you hate the fact that he still looks like your adorable best friend.

"y/n you're the only for me. im sorry i scared you but i knew if the serial killer went to your home you'd come running to me," you feel him rubbing your hand soothingly and you pull away from him with disgust.

"don't touch me! i'm going to the police, this is fucking sick." before you can even reach the door you hear something click. you feel a cold metal around your wrist and when you look down you see that beomgyu has handcuffed you to the door. "you're not leaving y/n, do i really have to do this to you? i've been waiting for months just for you to run away?" he whispers.

"beomgyu let me go right now," you seethe. the anxiety you felt before is only heightened when you look around and catch someone leaving from your house. "beomgyu please," you resort to petty pleads.

he pouts at you, "don't worry y/n i'm not gonna hurt you, i would never." he gives you a tender kiss on your forehead before standing up again. 

"i just want you to myself that's all."

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[clintbartonswife]

Man Of Iron

Pairings: Tony x Reader, Happy x Pepper Summary: After the final battle Tony is rushed to medical, his family visits him during his recovery. Notes: If you cant tell I’m still mad at the ending of endgame - fuck that ending Warnings: slight angst, shitloads of fluff masterlist  

The burns on your arms were a constant reminder of one of the hardest days of your life. Peter had joked that they were the Avenger’s membership badges, showing his matching burns proudly.

They were the reason he was still here.

When Tony put on the gauntlet you instantly joined hands with him, Nebula’s story about the power stone ringing in your ears. Catching on, the others soon created a chain, the power spreading across the hundreds of bodies united against the mad titan. It was poetic really, everyone standing in line as you watched them all disintegrate, people you considered family bonded by the marks of the biggest war ever fought.

And you had won.

Tony had been in a coma ever since he had fainted, just a few minutes after watching Thanos disintegrate, the last words on his lips being “shawarma?”

Since then you had only left his side to shower twice when Pepper or Rhodey had forced you to.

“How’s the old man doing?” Nat asked, slinking into the room, “Still breathing?”

“He’s doing good” 

Despite the spread out power of the stones, Tony had lost his arm to the initial surge of energy, a large burn spreading up the side of his neck.

“He’ll have a field day designing an arm” Peter had said during his first visit. You had just nodded with teary eyes, Morgan buried sleepily into your side as you watched the rise and fall of his chest to reassure yourself, “Maybe give him and Mr Bucky some common ground. That’ll be good for them both”

“Peter’s bringing Morgan here in a bit, Happy and Pepper are bringing Harley”

That brought a smile to your face, the idea of seeing them cheering you up considerably. Nat noticed and pulled you into a hug, the reassurance you felt was enough to make you tear up. 

“Peter said that he’s been enjoying his time as a brother - said that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing that he missed the smelly phase” Nat said, trying to distract you, “He and Harley are really getting along too whenever Pepper’s over to look after Morgan, looks like a real friendship could be blooming there”

You nodded along as she talked, your eyes hardly ever straying from Tony’s chest.

“Happy even mentioned taking time off of work to stay here for a few nights, let you go home and recuperate a bit. Morgan’s been a bit fussy the last few days”

“I cant leave him”

Your voice was cracked from misuse, though the terror you were feeling was clear.

“I cant. I just feel like the moment I leave him for longer than an hour he’s going to slip away - it’s been a week Nat. He should be better than this now! I thought Wakanda was supposed to have special healing shit?”

“They do”

“So why isn't it working?”

She released a heavy sigh, nodding slowly, before settling further into her chair.

“Okay”

The second time the kids had visited, Morgan had asked the one question you honestly didn’t know how to answer.

“Is daddy dying?”

Rhodey had just tightened his grip on your shoulder, both of you desperately trying to hold it together in front of them. Peter - god you had missed him - was a smart kid, too smart for his own good, and immediately jumped in.

“He’s just sleeping, he’ll wake up when he’s better” Peter had smiled, placing Morgan gently on the side of the bed away from any important looking wires, “See? As long as his chest is moving up and down, that means he’s ok”

Morgan had nodded, curling up into Tony’s side, eyes glued onto the steady rise and fall of his chest. 

When Peter had turned back to you, the tears rolling steadily down your cheeks, you opened your arms to him. You watched as the smile dropped from his face, his body barrelling towards you, burrowing his face into your neck as you embraced him, fingers carding through his hair as you murmured empty promises. 

Rhodey had moved to stand by Morgan as you manoeuvred the two of you to the chair in the corner of the room, still hugging as you sat down, and allowed him to curl up like a child on your lap. Without a dry eye in the room, you focused on soothing Peter, your soft murmurs filling the room.

Nat standing up broke you out of your reverie, your eyes straying from Tony to see Morgan and Peter standing in the doorway.

“Mummy! Peter bought me an ice-cream” Morgan grinned, the remains smudged around her mouth, “I at it all really quickly and I didn't get any brain freeze!”

“No way” you smiled, gently wiping the mess off, “how did you manage that?”

“I’m magic”

“You sure are” 

Quickly engulfing her in a hug, you moved over to Peter and gave him one too.

“Where’s the party?”

The familiar voice made you freeze on the spot, eyes widening.

“Daddy!”

You spun around, clutching Peter’s hand in yours, blinking in disbelief at the sight in front of you.

“I’ll get the doctor” Nat said urgently, running out of the room.

“Tony?”

Your voice wavered as you stepped closer to the bed, Peter standing just behind your back, spare hand reaching out to steady Morgan as she bounced excitedly next to the bed.

“Hey baby” he croaked, his signature grin on his face as he looked at you, eyes shining, “I’m guessing we won”

You just nodded, hand reaching out to gently cup the side of his cheek, “Yeah we did”

“Morgan? Pete?”

“We’re here Mr Stark” the teenager murmured tearfully, tightening his hold on your hand as he moved closer to the side of the bed.

“I’m here too!” Morgan squealed, moving to your side and demanding to be picked up before giving Tony a wide grin, “Peter bought me ice cream!”

“Wow! That's amazing pumpkin” he grinned, craning his neck to check that Peter was really there before turning his attention back to Morgan, “what flavour?”

“Strawberry with sprinkles” 

“That sounds yummy -” he paused, face scrunching up in pain as he tried to move his arm, eyes widening when he realised he couldn't, “what?”

“The stone … it took your arm. I’m sorry Tones”

He seemed to sink into the pillows slightly, a huff leaving his lips.

“Well, I guess I wasn't coming off scot-free, huh”

Sensing the change in the mood, Peter leaned over the bed slightly so that he was in his eyeline, “Good news is you can make a cool prosthetic for it now! It could be red and gold like the suit, and I - I could help if you want”

That seemed to cheer him up, a grin coming easily to Tony’s face, “great plan kid”

Peter nodded, grinning at improving Tony’s mood. He backed away as Tony’s gaze turned back to you, his eyes pulling you towards him.

“It’s okay now” he whispered, his good arm moving to cup the back of your head, gently resting your forehead against his, “I’m sorry”

You chuckled wetly, hands gripping at his t-shirt, “Just - don't do that again Tony. I don't think I could bear it if you-”

Your voice broke off, Tony humming soothingly, hand caressing the nape of your neck.

“I promise to never use the gauntlet again” he said, humour licking a his tone.

You pulled away, wiping your tears as you laughed, “Good. Or else I would’ve had to … hurt you”

He scoffed lightly, raising his eyebrow at Morgan, “She wouldn't”

Joining the joke, Morgan nodded vehemently, face mock-serious as she leant closer to her dad, whispering in his ear, “Oh yes she would! Mummy can be scary”

Looking to Peter for backup, the teenager just shrugged, a barely restrained laugh playing at his lips, “Morgan’s right, y/n can be terrifying”

Tony huffed, sinking further back into his pillows, “I see how it is, I guess I’ll have to just stay here for the time being then”

“YES”

Tony looked shocked for a second at the three of us shouting, before bursting into laughter.

“oh -ow” he groaned, arm flying to his stomach as he wheezed, “I get it!”

The moment was disrupted as Natasha burst back through the door, a group of doctors on her heel.

“Everybody out for now please” the main doctor said, bustling towards the bed, eyes shining with purpose, “We’ll call you back in when we have finished assessing his situation”

The ramps were not the only new addition to the Stark farm. Peter’s laughter echoing through the rooms were a welcomed addition, one that seemed to complete the house.

The arm was also new, shining at Tony’s side like a badge of honour - and in a way it was. Hours spent in the lab with Peter had brought the arm to life, the two using the time for bonding, coming out of it closer than ever.

Visitors came more often, Nebula dropping by every time she was on-earth, Rhodey finally settling down in a house only ten minutes away (which had nothing to do with Tony guilting him with his missing limb) and starting a slightly confusing relationship with Carol Danvers. If it worked for him, it was fine with you - you weren't going to judge him.

Natasha made sure to stay in touch, her and Bruce staying with the Barton's for the time being. Steve, Sam and Bucky were god knows where, though from the look of Bucky’s Instagram they were happy.

All in all, your life was better than it had been in a while, and for that you were eternally grateful. And if Tony felt your burn mark every night before you went to bed, only to check that this was all in fact real, well, the doubt would fade with time.

________________________________________________________________

Tags:  @xxloki81xx​  @geeksareunique  @bangtan-serendipity​

[braindeadskeletons]

Hey so I know I already got a matchup, but my sister wanted one, and she doesn’t have a tumblr, so she wanted to do one from my account. “Hi! Call me Ken! I’m a queer chick who dyes my hair a different color every, like, 3 days. (Not really, just every time it fades out.) I have severe anxiety and ADD (it runs in the family lol) and I desperately want to socialize but have no idea how. I’m touch starved, but also don’t really like to be touched? Does that make sense? (1/?)

“I’m a sucker for cute things and may or may not have a huge collection of stuffed animals. Microbiology is super interesting to me and I love going stargazing. Also, black holes are cool and no one can change my mind. (I blame my sib) I love sweet things, and almost always have some sort of candy on me (usually Smarties) and I may or may not like to drink maple syrup sometimes. Although I want to socialize, I can be a bit (a lot) shy and will hide behind whoever is there with me. (2/3)

“I will also stop talking after a point when I get overwhelmed. (Luckily I know ASL and taught a bit to my family) I’ll sometimes exaggerate these tendencies to get people to do what I want. (I once got all of the boys in my class to sacrifice themselves for me during dodgeball in 5th grade) I’m a little highly sensitive, so I rarely wear anything other than disguised pjs. I pick at my fingers and lips till I’m a bleeding mess, and have the worst eyesight ever. Thanks!!” Sorry for using 3 asks

Hi again, I'd love to do a matchup for Ken! Typically for each matchup I try and say something directly to the person who sent it in but uhhhh I don't really have much to say lmao. It's really late at the time where I'm writing this so I'm a little out of it hopefully that doesn't show in my writing. You sound like a lovely gal! When deciding who I wanted to pair with you there was only one skeleton who came to mind! So without further ado: 

I match you with Underswap Papyrus!

Okay okay so I know this is starting off super informal and it strays away from how I usually format these matchups but I feel like it's necessary to tell you that how you two meet is hilarious. An immediate situation popped up in my head okay hear me out: 

He spots you after a particularly rough night where he's at Muffet's and he's high as fuck right? My man is gone. He doesn't even know his own name. Papyrus spots you also in the restaurant and just loses his collective shit over your hair color. It goes a little like this:

----------

You, minding your business: 

Papyrus, spots you:

Papyrus: what the fuck

Papyrus: holy shit??

You:

Papyrus: do humans like

Papyrus: come in pink??

Papyrus: Is that a thing??

You, realizing that he's staring: 

Papyrus: gotta talk to pink human-

----------

And then he approached you and you walked him to your home since he was barely standing up on his own. He swears that this typically doesn't happen and apologizes a lot and offers to take you somewhere to make up for the trouble. Speed forward, and now you're both in a happy relationship!

Okay now let's actually get serious shall we? I just had to get that situation off my chest lmao.

At the very beginning of your relationship you guys have a conversation about a lot of boundaries the two of you need. You're in luck, because Papyrus can completely understand the feeling of being touch starved but also not wanting to be touched. It's kind of his thing if he's being honest, so the two of you are in this together. With severe anxiety Papyrus can relate in some ways. Though he can't completely understand what you're going through, since he only had mild anxiety, he can offer you some coping mechanisms he's picked up along the way. You both are huge beams of support for one another and you help each other with anxiety as much as possible. ADD is something he's really familiar with seeing as his brother has it. Want a fidget toy? He has plenty on hand that Sans wouldn't mind sharing or doesn't use anymore. Are you spacing out? He's endlessly patient, and would only nudge you a bit to bring you back to reality or he'd just let it go. Reminding you of things is no hassle. Whatever you need he'll do for you. 

Keep in mind that he won't stand for you hurting yourself in any way! If he catches you picking at your fingers or lips he'll gently take your hand in his own and gently ask you to stop. If you're going at your lips he'll try and make you stop through any means necessary. It may not mean anything to you but it does to him. Papyrus wouldn't want to watch you do that.

Going out somewhere isn't really going to be a common occurrence, but if you do want to go outside he's 100% going to go with you. If he sees you looking at any stores with stuffed animals he'll try and distract you with something else as he discreetly buys the plush you were looking at. You will never notice him doing it, it's always a surprise for later. 

Did I mention that he adores you and loves being with you when he does go out? Because he does. Thank fuck that you carry candy on you at all times. Besides everything else that he adores about you this has gotta be one of the highlights of why. At the smallest opportunity he'll be asking for some of your candy to do the dumbest things like:

----------

Papyrus: [smoking a smartie]

You: hhh-

You: how the hell do you manage to smoke a smartie??

Papyrus, no hesitation: improvise, adapt, overcome

You:

Papyrus: 

Papyrus: and practice?

----------

And the fact that you slurp syrup? God, same. He's had a few bottles of syrup himself when the honey runs out.

Papyrus will try and help you talk to others but if you hide behind him in public or stop talking he'll take the hint and teleport you both back home as soon as possible. If you'd like, he'll learn ASL for you. Not just a bit. All of it. Hell, he might just become even more fluent than you.With the whole exaggerating business, if Papyrus sees you doing it to others he'll find it hilarious if it's all in good fun. It won't be working on him though, no matter how hard you try. He'll keep his mouth shut if you aim it at others but not if it's at him. If you need him to play along with you he will though. It's all in good fun.

Dates are guaranteed to be inside the house, with the exception of stargazing. That's in the backyard. You can wear pjs if you'd like, hell Pap will probably wear only a gross week old t-shirt or a sweatshirt. Papyrus will listen to you ramble about microbiology for hours on end and never get tired of hearing your voice. If you voice your interest for black holes Pap may or may not lose his shit for a bit. He'll go on and on about black holes, stars, planets, for as long as you're willing to listen he's willing to talk about it. Listen to him for a bit won't you? He doesn't show this much excitement around others, but he really really loves you. So he trusts you to see him like this.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Three

Words: 4.8K

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, angst

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"Viv?" I barely hear her voice as Tansy gently nudges at my shoulder, worriedly, while I'm staring at the TV after calming down from hyperventilating, my mind starting to collect itself as my sorrow begins turning into pure rage. 

"Vivian." Her voice becomes crystal clear and I'm shoving her away from me, into the floor, as I scream, "don't fucking touch me!" 

"Vivian, I'm sorry!" She pleads. "We couldn't tell you!"

"We?!" I grit out. "Who the hell has known about this?!" 

Her silence is speaking volumes and I roll my jaw, stomping to the door with her crying motivating my anger further. 

I'm banging on Tommy's door, hearing him and Nikki chuckling, and the second the door opens, I'm grabbing the full Jack bottle out of Tommy's hand and throwing it at Nikki. 

"How could you let this happen?!" I shriek at him, tears of anger streaming down my face as I start picking up everything in sight and throw it at Nikki. "What have you done, Nikki?!" 

"What the fuck, Vivian?!" Nikki's yelling back at me as Tommy tries to get me under control, but all I have to say is, "Me, God, and everybody just saw your fiancée brag about getting to marry you," and Tommy's stumbling back in shock, the look on his face is the same as Nikki's and they know they're all fucked. 

"Vivian--" 

I shut Nikki up by throwing a bottle of wine at him, missing him, but it smacks into the screen of the TV, causing a loud banging noise as glass goes everywhere,  before I'm grabbing a stray heel off the floor that one of the groupies left here with Tommy, hurling it at him and it hits him in the face, hard. 

"How could you do this to me?!" I cry out as he starts trying to walk to me, trying to keep his anger low, but I get away from him, throwing a hotel lamp at him, only for it to shatter on the wall behind him. "What did I do to make you hate me so fucking much, Nikki?! To make you pursue another girl--one of my friends--so fucking hard that you propose to her?! Am I just that fucking forgettable?!" I'm throwing dirty dishes Tommy's used tonight, all of them breaking when they miss Nikki by merely centimeters, hitting the wall. 

"Vivian, fuck it off!" He barks and I grab Tommy's switchblade off the nightstand, throwing it next, and it barely misses Nikki's face. 

"I hate you!" I say back. "I fucking hate you!" 

He's pouncing before I can grab anything else, tackling me to the bed, holding at my arms.

"I have done nothing but dedicate the last six years of my life to you, asking you 'how high' every time you have told me to fucking jump, trying to help you the best I could, and trying to keep my shit together for you and this is how you repay me?!" I'm overcome with sadness once more, a wave of sobs drowning me, and I try to get him off of me, hitting at his chest.

"Viv--"

"--How long has this been happening?! How long have you been fucking her?!" 

"Vivian, stop before you get us kicked out." He orders sternly, trying not to raise his voice anymore. 

"I am humiliated!" I wail out, pain threading through every layer of my voice. 

"What the fuck is going on?!" Fred and Doc come in with Tommy, I didn't even notice Tommy had left. 

I take a few breaths, pushing Nikki off of me and he stumbles back after I shriek, "Get away from me!" and sit up on the bed. 

"Vivian--" Doc starts. 

"Shut up! I don't wanna fucking hear another word because it's all fucking bullshit!" I seethe at him. 

"Vivian, we can talk about this calmly, because screaming--" 

"--No! I've had everyone's foot on my throat for the past four years, telling me how to act, how to look, how to make sure he's happy, and it just took less than 45 seconds for her to blow every fucking thing to fucking hell and let me know I did all of it for absolutely nothing!" I say through thick tears, bubbling anger starting to rise within me again.

I'm suddenly lunging and clawing at Nikki's face and neck before I can stop myself.

"Vivian!" Nikki hollers, his face bleeding as he tries to swing at me but Doc blocks him, yelling, "both of you calm the fuck down!" 

I'm starting to breathe quickly, my whole body feeling heavy as Fred and Doc keep us separated.

"How the hell did this happen?" I ask him, more so demand.

"Vivian," Doc says, catching his breath. "We'll talk about it later."

"I just found out…" I can't bring myself to say "my husband's been cheating on me" without feeling like I'm going to vomit. "...and you just wanna talk about it later?" I ask him, appalled and he looks at Nikki. 

"I'm not…" Nikki trails off, shaking his head, looking as if he's about to cry before heading to the door and slamming it shut. 

"Oh, God, please." I beg, holding at my aching chest, my eyes squeezing closed as tears topple down my cheeks. 

"Come with me." I hear Doc lowly say to  Tommy. 

"Viv," Tommy slowly starts and I shake my head at him. 

"You were suppose to protect me." I hold back a sob. "You've always protected me and when I needed you to the most...you  were suppose to protect me and you didn't." I finally muster out and tears break over his lashes.

Before he can say anything, Doc's leading him out of the room, leaving me with Fred. 

"Vivian," Fred says, genuinely concerned. 

"I-I-oh, God." I can't make myself speak, tears and snot running down my face but I don't care, and he nods as I shake my head a little.

He just grabs one of my hands, squeezing it, comfortingly. 

We got kicked out of that hotel and because of my tantrum, we had to pay them back for the broken lamp and TV, but I didn't care. 

 I had done everything. Everything I could, everything I was told to do, and it still wasn't enough. I still wasn't enough. My best still wasn't enough.

I lay on the bathroom floor of our new hotel with the door locked, not crying as extensively as I was, but it's a steady stream of tears puddling on the floor, as everything I overlooked runs through my mind. 

Those nights I'd come home to see Vanity passed out in my house, the way everyone would get a little uncomfortable when she would hint at something and I was the only fucking one that didn't think anything about it...the fucking "V" tattoo on his arm that he played off as a five, when he just as easily at least could've have said it was for "Vivian" or something. Anything. 

"You are the world's biggest fucking idiot." I whisper to myself. "How could you be so stupid?" 

I'm so tired, I've been crying for the past four hours, but anytime I try to sleep I can't. It's not because I'm on the floor and I'm uncomfortable, but because my mind won't quit replaying every scenario there is imaginable of Nikki and Vanity touching each other. 

A one night stand would have been something I'd still be shattered over...but an entire relationship?

I don't even want to know how long it's been happening. 

I just want to sleep. 

"Vivian." I hear Vince say from the other side of the door and I sniffle, not wanting to talk to anyone. "I'm sorry, alright? But what the fuck did you expect? We're rockstars. It's common sense how we live. You should have known Nikki wasn't an exception to that, when you married him." 

"Get out!" I scream at him, getting all the strength in me to open the door and shove at his shoulders to the room door. 

"Vi--"

"--Leave me alone!" I demand, snatching the room key from him before opening the door and pushing him out, slamming it shut, resting my aching forehead against the cool wood. 

I try to take deep breaths to calm down, but I'm unable to. 

I slide down the door, my mind continuing to race.

I couldn't sleep at all.

My eyes, nearly swollen shut from crying for two days, are glued to the screen of the TV set before me, Doc, Fred, Nikki, Tommy, Vince, Mick, Tansy, Sparkie, Donna, Emi, and everyone else at risk of being asked about this shit show by the press, as a recording of Vanity's interview is replayed to us.

"Yeah, I'll be Vanity 6 once again. Isn't that nice?" 

 "I heard that--now, Nikki, uh, he's not ma--"

"--Mötley Crüe." She states what he's known for and cuts Arsenio short. 

"Yeah, I read about Nikki in, uh, Fresh Magazine."

"Oh, no, you've read about him." Vanity says, causing the audience to laugh uncomfortably along with Arsenio. 

"Is he here?" He asks.

"Texas. He's in Texas." She explains. 

"He's in Texas with Mötley Crüe."

"Right." She nods. 

"And they're probably partying with some chicks up in the room." He jokes, trying to carry on as smoothly as possible with this whirlwind she just dropped.

"Oh, I'll kill him." She laughs out. "I'll kill him." 

Again, everyone laughs. 

"When are you getting married?" 

"Oh, probably December, maybe Christmas, maybe New Years, we haven't decided." She replies. 

"Are you--you seem like you're in love, you're very bubbly, you're glowing." Arsenio points out and she nervously rubs her forehead. 

"Oh, I--I know, I feel stupid, I know. I look stupi--"

"--No, no, that's great." He argues politely. "And this ring is something else." He states as he looks at it. "You don't get no crackerjacks with this, I mean that's a nice ring." He chuckles, along with her and the crowd. 

Doc stops it there, anger of the highest degree on his face as he glares at Nikki, who's got his sunglasses on and refuses to even look my way. 

"I told you--" Doc stops talking for a moment, nearly shaking, having to take deep breaths. "--when you got together with that coked out bitch to not be--" he loses it, throwing his bottle of water at the wall, "--fucking messy!" He yells. "We have done everything we could possibly do to help you and what do you do in return? Bend all of us over and just," Doc thrusts his hips forward a few times as if he's screwing a girl, "fuck all of us!" 

Nikki let's out a heavy breath.

"Her sister called last night and that ring she's flashing around, Sixx, is Viv's." Doc states and I feel my bottom lip shake as more tears come to my eyes. "You can't tell me you didn't play a part in this shit. You can't. Vanity's crazy, but she didn't just wake up one day and decide to say she's engaged to you. You helped prompt this. You can't tell me you didn't." He points at Nikki and Nikki sits quietly. "Jesus fuck." Doc sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay. Okay. This is what we do. I've been on the phone for the past two days with the office, the label, Vanity's people...and everyone agrees that playing this off as a misunderstanding on Vanity's part is the best option." He tells us. "What she said about being engaged to Nikki is-is technically right thanks to his fucking smack and crack binge that lead to that bright fucking idea--but instead of accusing her of lying, we'll say it was a 'misunderstanding'." Doc replies and I squeeze my eyes shut. "It could get ugly for us if you two are at each other's throats over this, publicly, so you two are just gonna have to play nice for the cameras and hash this out behind closed doors." He adds. "Because if we say it was a misunderstanding but you two are having issues, they'll know we're bullshitting."

"What if I want a divorce?" Nikki--Sikki--boldly asks and Doc clenches his jaw while I brush away tears as quickly as possible, playing it off. 

"You can split when this tour is over, that way you can blame it on something other than asking another woman to marry you while you've been married to the girl you've been with since 1981 for four fucking years."

I'm too exhausted to protest the idea of staying with him until the tour ends. 

I just want to go home. 

"So if anybody asks any of you about it 'no comment' the fuck out of them. And if you absolutely have to say something other than 'no comment', you laugh a little bit to make it seem like it's nothing, and tell them--verbatim--'It was a complete misunderstanding.' And if I find out anybody doesn't answer with one of those, word for fucking word, you're done." He threatens in a serious tone. 

I've never seen Doc this mad. 

"Do I make myself clear?" He asks us and everybody nods...except me. "Viv?"

"I want to go home." I tell him. 

"If you go home right now, it'll look like something's up--"

"--Something is up." I let out hoarsely and everyone lets out a sad breath. "I just want to go home for a couple days." I say, my voice cracking.

"Not like it's gonna do you any good to run home. They knew about it, too." Sikki mocks me, referring to Duff and the guys. 

"Dude." Tommy says to him as if wanting him to shut up. 

I just get up and go to walk out of the room, stopping in front of Nikki, getting in his face.

"Burn in hell." I say and he turns his head to look at me, smirking. 

"That's the dream." He replies.

I get out as fast as I can, Fred following after me, and the second I get out, I'm throwing up, hoping nobody in there heard, especially Nikki. I feel like his inner evil fucking psychopath junkie will delight in my discomfort. 

He was angry because I refused to see him after he had tried to get Fred to convince me to speak to him. 

I didn't know what to say to him, and I didn't want to hear anything from him, yet. 

I just needed to get away from him for a few days and think about what I wanted to do. 

Did I want a divorce? Did I want to pack my shit from the house and never go back to him on tour and send him the divorce documents in the mail? Did I want to try to fix things? Did I think things could even be fixed at that point? I didn't know what to do, other than go home.

I finish packing all of stuff into my suitcase as Fred comes in, clearing his throat. 

"Look, I, uh...I talked to Doc. He decided it's a good idea for you to go back home for a couple days and come back with a clear head--well, as clear as it's gonna get." He explains. "But, the Rolling Stone dude is still coming on this week, so Doc wants you gone no longer than three days." He adds.

I completely forgot about Rolling Stone wanting to do a big issue on Mötley Crüe's tour in the midst of everything that's happened recently. 

"Which of course now, they're definitely chomping at the bit to get to nitty-gritty on everything and if you're not here, that's gonna send off some red flags, according to Doc." He explains and I let out a groan. 

"But Doc's currently getting you a flight for this early this evening, and I'll drive you there and we'll get someone to pick you up." 

I don't reply, letting out a breath and he gives me a small smile. 

"It'll be alright, Viv." He assures me. 

"I've been telling myself that since 1981. Nothing's fucking alright."

Going out in public was a mistake from hell.

 Every reporter outside of the airport here is shouting "Vivian" followed by invasive questions about Vanity and Nikki, and I'm happy I have my sunglasses on so they can't see me about to burst into tears. 

"Vivian, are you going home to file for divorce?!"

"Is Nikki and Vanity engaged?!"

"Are you and Nikki divorced without public knowledge?!" 

"Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring?!" 

"We were under the impression Vanity was your friend?!" 

"Is this a polygamous relationship?!" 

"Do you have any comments on the recent bombshell about Vanity and Nikki?!" 

"Bless their hearts." I reply with a sarcastic smile, damning Doc's little gag order. 

This causes them to start popping off my questions like a swarm of piranhas.

I'd be hearing about that comment I made, from Doc,  the next day.

I'm praying there isn't a swarm of press outside as I make my way to the front exit of L.A.X., but my prayer is answered, kind of, when I only see Axl waiting for me with Duff's car. 

We don't say anything to each other until we get to the first stop light on the road. 

"It's fucking shitty we didn't tell you--"

"--Axl, I don't wanna hear it."

"No, let me finish." He demands. "Look at me." 

I sigh and glare at him. 

"We wanted to tell you, Viv."

"Then why the hell didn't you?"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me, honestly, matter-of-fact, without a doubt, if one of us came to you and told you Nikki and Vanity were seeing each other, you wouldn't have lost your fuckin' mind?" 

I don't say anything. 

"We've been trying for months to get him to leave her alone, or come clean to you, and he'd just say, 'I'm working on it'. We had no idea they were that fucking deep into it."

I roll my eyes, my eyes blinking back tears.

"I'm being serious--Viv, hey." He says and I look at him. "If we would have known that, that's how you would have found out, we would've told you sooner. I swear to fucking God, Viv, we woulda told you sooner if we knew that's how you would've found out." He promises. 

This is possibly the most sincere I've ever seen Axl.

Which lets me know he's being honest. 

No matter how angry I am at them, they didn't tell me to save my feelings. 

Their intentions were pure, but horribly executed. 

When we get to the Franklin, we walk in to see the guys in the living room of Axl's place, watching cartoons. 

I don't say anything to Izzy, Duff, Steven or Slash, and none of them try to speak to me once Axl gives them the look that says I'm not in the mood to speak about anything. 

"I'm gonna shower." I say, taking myself to the bathroom with my stuff, locking the door behind me.

I shower, then proceed to stay in there, avoiding everybody and everything, until I hear a soft little knock, and Stevie's voice.

"H-hey, Viv? We got some food...if you're hungry, I mean." He says on the other side of the door and I exhale.

"I'm not hungry, Steven." I say, sniffling, wiping tears away that have been flowing since I turned the shower off. 

"Are you gonna stay in there all night?" He asks next.

"It's my business if I do." I snap back and he lets out a breath. 

He doesn't say anything else, I just hear him walk away. 

Steven, as nice as he always has been, had no problem setting someone straight if needed. He was never aggressive with me, because I usually stayed on his good side, but if someone rubbed him the wrong way, he'd get in their face and ask them what the fuck their problem was. I expected him to break into that bathroom and ask me what my problem was, but he knew what my problem was, I guess…

...Izzy on the other hand…

"Izzy, what the hell?!" I yell as the door swings open after he picks the lock. 

"We're fucking pieces of shit and the assholes they come out of, I get that. Axl gets that. Stevie gets that. Duff gets that. Slash gets that. We understand collectively that we are gross for not telling you. But we didn't tell you in hopes your dumb-fuck husband would wise up, like we have all been trying to get him to do, and break things off with the bitch. But he didn't. But we were hoping he would so we wouldn't have to witness your firey wrath sent straight from the gates of fucking hell. But we are anyway, apparently. We tried dropping hints. Countless hints. Obvious hints but you were too busy getting fucked by cupid and having a too perfect view of love to notice. But we tried. Extensively. If we knew she was going to embarrass you like that, we wouldn't  have kept it from you, at all. But it's too fucking late now, and we can't do anything about it except just be here for you, I guess, but you coming home and being a bitch to us for not telling you something that would've been so fucking obvious to you if you would have paid a little more attention, is fucked. Next time we'll just tell you he's fucking one of your best friends and rip the fucking bandaid off." He says to me, stunning me. "Now quit hogging the bathroom because some of us need to use it."

I can usually take Izzy's tough love, but this time, I can't.

"I gave her a key to my house." I say randomly, more tears coming to my eyes. 

"No, no, you're suppose to tell me to go fuck myself." He says. 

"And the codes to our gate and...24/7 access to my husband, and I was too fucking stupid to realize I was just letting her have him anytime she wanted him." I choke out.

The door cracks open a little to reveal Duff behind Izzy, and he cautiously steps to me, hugging me tightly to him.

One thing I was beginning to realize: the first thing I said to Nikki was, "how could you let this happen?"  

 I was beginning to see that it wasn't meant as a "how could you let yourself do this to me?" but as a "how could you let her embarrass me like this?"

I knew something was up, subconsciously, I had this feeling that I knew something but I didn't know what exactly I knew until I was publicly humiliated over it.

I spend the rest of the night not speaking to anyone, not necessarily because I'm still angry, but because I'm just not in a talking mood. 

By the time everyone else is going out, Duff and I are heading back to his place so I can try to sleep. 

"You can have whatever side of the bed you want." He lets out, a little awkwardly being that we haven't spoken all night. 

I nod, going to the side of the bed I slept on the last time I stayed here. 

He looks as if he wants to say something else to me, but chooses not to as I get into bed with him, turning my back to him, hoping to get some form of rest, but even a couple hours later, it never comes. 

I lay next to Duff, his soft snoring sounding through the small room, his bare back to me, and in the lights from the street that are filing through the window, I can see the smattering of acne scars along his back, and I can't stop my hand from reaching out, grazing over them. 

He moves a little in his sleep and I let out a breath, tired of being awake with my own thoughts that are just overflowing with whispers of Nikki. 

I wish I was in bed next to him. 

I wish he never would have done what he did in the first place. 

I wish I wouldn't have been so naive.

I wish I would have listened to my gut before we got married. 

Finally getting tired of it, I pull myself up and stumble to the kitchen, looking around until I find a bottle of NyQuil syrup.

I take the correct dose of it to maybe help me sleep before going back to bed. 

 "Will you quit it?" I grin, chuckling as his lips brush against the space between my shoulder blades as he hovers over me while I'm laying on my stomach at the foot of the bed. "I'm trying to finish this." I add, referring to the blank paper before me and the pen in my hand. 

"You weren't worried about writing it for the past two hours." He teases, peppering my bare back in kisses and I giggle, trying to worm him off of me."You're almost done with school, what's one missing paper gonna hurt?" He questions. 

"It'll hurt when it counts as a chunk of my final grade and I haven't even gotten a thesis statement figured out. And if I when I bring home a crappy final grade, I don't think my mom will appreciate, 'I couldn't do my thesis paper because I was too busy fucking your worst nightmare that I snuck in through my window'."

He lets out a scoff, kissing my skin one last time before I'm turning over to face him, still holding the pen and paper in my hand laying above my head, my other hand tracing over his cheek.

"I can write it." He says after a moment of thinking and I furrow my brows. 

"Write what?" 

"Your paper." 

"You want to write a thesis for paper for twelfth-grade English?" I have to stop myself from laughing.

"Sure." He shrugs. 

"Didn't you drop out of school?" I question and he snatches the pen and paper out of my hand and sits up, grabbing the book I was using as a hard surface to write on. 

"If I can write a song, I can write a thesis paper." He states and I raise my brows. 

"Whatever you say." 

My eyes slowly blink open, and my whole body starts hurting again, gut wrenching pain that's suffocating my heart in a stronghold as my swollen eyes start to weep again. 

"Oh, God, please. Please, God." I beg, trying to be quiet enough not to wake Duff up. I'm not sure what exactly I'm praying for, I just know my spirit is crying out for mercy and relief of any kind. 

He spent a couple days writing that paper, collecting sources and proof to back his thesis statement: 'The way today's christian and conservative groups view and sacrifice secular music genres, specifically rock n' roll, and the artists within those genres, is completely counterproductive of the teachings of who they worship because their approach is judgemental and belligerent.' I just copied it word for word in my handwriting and kept his original work of it which is framed and hanging in our house today.

Those were the main memories that would replay in my dreams: us when we first started fooling around and slowly seeing each other exclusively.

Small little things that just added more reasons to why I was so in love with in to begin with.

Things we completely lost sight of by 1987. 

Those were the ones that would hurt like hell to wake up from.

I'm unable to fall asleep again, so I take another dose of NyQuil, and wait for it to go in effect. 

I fell asleep, but woke up every couple hours, and immediately started crying each time, not forgetting I was heartbroken in the slightest because I'd dream of Nikki. 

I'd just lay there saying, "God, please," not knowing what I was praying for him to do.

And, in a slightly irresponsible and reckless attempt to go back to sleep to stop the pain,  I'd take another dose of NyQuil every time, not thinking anything of it because it was an 'over the counter' drug. After taking four maximum doses of the stuff in a 6 hour period, my body started freaking out.

My heart is pounding in my chest, my breathing trying to compensate for what feels like an inability to get enough air as something in me is telling me to wake Duff up.

"Duff, Duff." I gasp out, shaking at his shoulder and he wakes up, confused, tired eyes looking at me. 

Apparently it just takes one look at me to wake him up fully, because he's sitting up as fast as he can. 

"Something's not right." I say breathlessly. 

"Viv?" He asks, at least I think that's what he says.

His hand suddenly grasps at my wrist, his fingers on my pulse point, and his eyes widen. 

"We gotta get you to a hospital." He replies as calmly as he can, but I can tell he's frantic in his mind. 

[bubble-booty-valkyrie]

Are Ruby and Weiss around the right size to come face-to-face with Broly cock, while standing, or just Neo and Nora?

One would think that Neo would find comfort in finding another girls who’s only very slightly taller then she is, someone who knows the struggles of being tiny and thicc, along with all the teasing and people looking for a set of tiny holes to stuff, but they’d be wrong. Neo stomped down the Beacon halls with her cheeks buffed out in a moody pout, having been followed around by the equally as tiny redheaded Valkyrie who just wouldn’t stop talking.

They weren’t kindred spirits, cause while Neo had dealt with being tiny her whole life, with the teasing to go with it, Nora was stupid and didn’t realize that being so small was annoying, or that people were teasing her. Neo’s gotten over it, embraced her own short and stacked aesthetic, but that didn’t make Nora any less empty headed and annoying.

“Oh my gosh, we should totally be TTBFFEAE~!! Teeny Tiny Best Friends For Ever And Ever~!! We can share clothes, and guys, and we can be work out buddies, and we can-!!”

Neo was about ready to snap, honestly, she could already imagine what the ditzy slut’s neck would feel like in her hands, and it only served to annoy her further when she realized the redhead would probably like it. Neo knew she would have..

Neo was just about to yank her arm free from between the bimbo’s fat cow tits when both she and Nora turned the corner in the hall to slam face first into a solid wall of hot, musky muscle. Or more specifically, a solid wall of muscle named Broly, and their face was pressed up against either side of his massive snaking bulge in his shorts. and he clearly was doing some kind of physical activity to have such a strong, raw musk. It was strong enough that even Nora shut up.

Neo wasn’t ashamed to admit that she didn’t pull her face away, instead she just looked up at the clearly pissed off man while subtly trying to huff her fill of his very sweaty cock and balls. He was so fucking huge, and she wasn’t even just talking about his height, she could feel how much of a beast he was just from having her face pressed against his bulge, pure, raw, musky heat pouring off his bulge and onto her pretty face. Even the redheaded bimbo didn’t pull away, more obviously huffing his cock and sack with enthusiasm.

One thing Neo realized beyond the haze of sweaty man meat was the fact that he was furious, Broly always looked mad to some degree, but his hair was standing on end in the way her and the rest of the school learned meant he was actually angry. She didn’t know what he was angry with, but at least it wasn’t them, they could handle themselves, but Neo would like the man to try and stab her with with something other then steel, if you caught her drift. That, and his eyes were gold, which was usually a bad sign.

Now, usually Neo avoided danger, but she was too caught up with the fact that this battering ram was the thing that fucked up her girlfriend so bad that she couldn’t walk for three days! She was both jealous and relieved it wasn’t her instead!

“Mmm~ Hey Broly~ Need some help cleaning you balls~? They smell all sweaty~” Nora’s muffled voice rang out, causing her equally as small friend to side eye her with shock and fear. “Me and my new TTBFFEAE were just talking about doing fun things together~”

This slut was gonna get them killed! Neo was just about to turn around and run when she heard a deep, animalistic growl leave the massive mountainous man’s throat, and suddenly she, along her her redheaded classmate, were lifted up each with one hand and thrown over the man’s shoulder like they belonged to him, two very loud slaps filling the hall from how he roughly slapped both their asses and groped them while bringing them to his room.

Well, at least Neo was gonna have another thing in common with her girlfriend..?

…

Neo had been thrown to the ground without any care for her comfort along with her bubble booty bimbo classmate, both of the landing with a thump against the carpeted ground by the foot of the bed while the man of the hour yanked his compression shirt over his head and threw it across the room.

Broly sat down onto his special ordered bed with a sigh mixed growl of relief and exhaustion, obviously still pissed off and tense from whatever happened earlier. Honestly, Neo didn’t really care why the massive man was pissed, she was more worried about him taking it out on her! Something she realized was inevitable when he looked down at them with golden, hungry eyes. Dammit..

“Aww, did something make you angry, Broly?” Nora asked up at the clearly seething stud like she was talking to a growling puppy, getting onto her knees between his massive, muscular thighs and leaving room for Neo to do the same. “It’s okay big guy, me and Neo will make it all better~! Right Neo~?”Nora was a lot stronger then she looked, Neo realized that a long time ago, and now she used that superior strength to yank Neo right next to her between the powerful thighs off Broly, sealing her fate as Broly’s extra cock warmer. Now, with them both face to face with the man’s massive bulge, Nora reached forward without a second though and pulled the man’s shorts down passed his hips.

Neo actually squeaked with fright when that massive, fat, veiny pillar of steaming hot meat sprung free and slapped down against her small, pretty little face, covering half her features with nothing but thick raw throbbing cock thicker then the tiny slut’s arm. Holy fuck, his raw musk made Neo’s head spin, and she’d never felt smaller and more helpless then when she looked past that unruly bitch breaker and up at Broly, knowing that he expected this fucking thing to be in at least one of her holes by the end of this..

Nora didn’t seem all that scared as she squealed and shoved her nose right up against Broly’s fat, hairy, sweaty, musky balls, huffing away like the nasty slut she was known to be before noisily slurping up one of those massive furry nuts between her plump, glossy lips and worshipping it like she was in love with it.

Neo knew she was left with the hard job, worriedly looking up at the still pissed man before slowly reaching up and grabbing his massive cock with both hands, hefting it off her face and jerking him off as best as her small hands could. But she knew it wouldn’t be enough, so to keep him from snapping at her, Neo leaned up and placed a submissive kiss right on his fat, precum dripping tip, hoping it would please him enough to not grab her hair and force her onto the thing.

And with that, Neo opened her mouth as wide as she could and stuffed the raw, musky, dripping, steaming hot cock tip right into her tiny mouth, pushing that sweaty pillar of smelly meat past her plump, cock pillow lips and filling her senses with nothing but pure, raw, pearlescent precum, jerking off more and more of it onto her tongue while loudly suckling and slurping as hard as she could, hoping to please him with just this.

Nora was having the time of her life, her eyes crossed with her mouth stuffed full of both the man’s massive, sweaty, reeking, hairy nuts while she slurped as loud and hard as she could, happily getting herself drunk off of Broly’s musk while her hot little tongue rolled out underneath and lapped at his taint just for fun.

Neo was actually too busy savoring the delicious taste of Broly’s precum to see him put one of his massive hands on her head, her eyes going wide and shooting up towards his face just to see an evil grin flash across his features, right before he suddenly pushed her down his cock.

Neo loudly choked and gagged as the man’s massive, throbbing bitchbreaker slammed against the back of her tiny throat, so wide that the blunt tip could barely fit passed her small airway without meeting some significant resistance from her pretty little pink choker she had gotten from her girlfriend as a gift. 

Broly didn’t like that one bit, snarling furiously as he grabbed Neo’s head with both massive hands, not caring in the slightest that Neo’s big, pretty mismatched eyes were rolled up in the back of her sockets with tears pouring down her face.

Nora let the man’s massive nuts pop out of her mouth with a nice, hot, wet slurp, a few stray pubes stuck to her plump, glossy lips while she panted lewdly against his newly saliva dripping nuts. She looked like she had just tasted the sweetest cake ever, small hearts practically in her eyes before she spotted Neo’s predicament.

She saw the way the small pocket slut was losing her mind from the massive beast’s brutal treatment and raw musk, and she was actually a little jealous, shoving her hand under her skirt and into her panties to frantically finger herself while watching Neo’s struggle.

Broly was really starting to get pissed as he repeatedly slammed his blunt tip against the back of Neo’s throat, not getting it an inch further. He had enough. With a final snarl, Broly slammed his hips up while slamming Neo’s face down his shaft, and with a loud snap of Neo’s choker, finally forced his massive cock down Neo’s throat, every wide inch in one, long, wet, choking, gagging thrust until her cute little nose was buried into his sweaty, musky pubes, his nuts slapping against her chin.

Nora couldn’t even speak, simply watching with aw as Neo throated that unbelievable monster, a slight, noticeable bulge to her throat as Broly finally settled in.

That wasn’t the end though, Broly yanked Neo up to the tip of his monolithic pillar of meat, his precum dripping onto her tongue for just a second before he slammed her right back down with another long, wet, loud, gagging, choking thrust.

From then, Broly used Neo’s throat like a cocksock, setting a fast, brutal tempo and slamming her nose into his pubes, over and over again jerking her head back and forth to slide every thick inch back into her throat.

Neo could barely breath, her eyes rolled up, tears and makeup running down her face, stray pubes and saliva dripping down her chin while she tried to suck even a little to get him off faster.

Broly didn’t like this slow pace though, instead switching the positions on the bed so Neo was leaned back against his mattress and bed frame, unable to even try and push him back when he finally put both of his muscular thighs on either side of Neo’s head, grinning down and finally going to town.

Loud, brutal, frantic slapping filled the room as Broly pistoned his hips forward over and over again, fucking Neo’s small face like he would a slut who loved it rough, his nuts smacking her chin, saliva and throat slime dripping all over her chest and his thighs while he tried his best to fuck her unconscious.

Neo couldn’t see straight, her eyes filling with stars and hearts while she was used worse then she had ever been before, like nothing but a slutty, submissive, throwaway cumdumpster made for Broly to abuse however he wanted. And she just couldn’t stop cumming, squirting all over herself and in her panties while the entire bed rocked and banged against the wall.

Nora had stopped fingering herself long enough to realize that she was probably next, not sure if she was more worried or excited.

Broly growled, and snarled, and grunted like a wild animal while he fucked Neo’s tiny throat, realizing that it was the tightest hole he’s ever had, and enjoying every second of it. Until finally, with one last brutal thrust, Broly slammed balls deep, grinding Neo’s nose into his curly pubes, and unloading his fat, hot balls into her throat, making sure every single thick, stringy, chunky blast went straight into her stomach.

Neo had long since lost consciousness, not even reacting when Broly yanked his still steel hard cock free from her throat, long strings of cum and saliva sticking between them. She didn’t even react when he let go of her hair and dropped her to the floor, small bubbles of cum and saliva showing that she was still breathing.

Broly didn’t calm down though, instead he turned to glare at the only other bubble booty buttslut in the room, eyeing her up with hunger and lust.

Nora looked down at Neo, then back up at Broly as he walked in front of her, both of them silent as he looked down at her.

“Uh.. Boop~?” Nora booped the man’s cock with a single wet finger, smiling up at him, before he grabbed her and threw her face down on the bed for her turn.

[softderekhale]

from the archives: snippets of a sterek pacrim au

hey y’all! i definitely haven’t been super active on this blog or tumblr at all lately, for a lot of reasons but mainly just... life. doesn’t that suck sometimes? but i really, truly hope everyone is doing well and you + your loved ones are staying safe. (long reflection + tumblr fic after the cut, lol)

i’ve been in kind of a funk with writing since the last time i “had” to do it, which was 12 days/sterek secret santa like, 6 months ago. it’s frustrating to me that i went from writing my longest fic ever exactly 2 years ago to having almost zero output now, but i’m trying not to be too hard on myself and i know writing is a really fickle pastime. anyway, this is a really long leadup, but i decided to just release some stuff i wrote into the wild. it’s either here or my google drive, so i might as well see if anyone wants to read it! 

pacific rim is undoubtedly one of my favorite movies of all time (it was only bumped down by into the spider-verse, but they’re almost tied ;D). it came out right after my sterek obsession began, and i always imagined writing a sterek au based around derek and stiles being drift compatible. that whole concept has always been so lovely to me and fits in nicely with some of my favorite soulmate-y tropes. this idea always felt too ambitious, though, and i didn’t write a single word of it until i rewatched the movie in november/december 2019. i wrote the following stuff in an extremely giddy haze over the next few weeks. i’m not good about pushing myself to write, so i never added any more, but i still really like what i had/have! i hope maybe someday i’ll feel the urge to come back to it. but anyway, here’s my completely self-indulgent homage to one of my favorite movies and one of my favorite fandoms. in my au chronology for this, following the events of the first movie, global governments and the ppdc decided to deploy jaegers for continued deep sea exploration to further benefit scientific discovery and avoid wasting such expensive tech/training. this lead to a lot of corporate interference re: treasure hunting, etc. (national treasure, but make it underwater). oh, and werewolves exist (because wouldn’t they make great jaeger pilots?!). also, A SECOND PACIFIC RIM MOVIE WAS NEVER EVER MADE. THE END. laura and derek were copilots before a kaiju-fighting incident forced them into early retirement. laura is still alive, though! (because it’s me.)

***

“Mayday! Mayday! LOCCENT, do you copy? This is Luna Geminae paging for backup. LOCCENT! Danny, we can’t hold them much longer…”

Laura’s growl of frustration rang in Derek’s ear as he strained against the beast.

“Keep holding it, Derek. You can do this. I know you can. They’re so close, Derek, they’ve gotta be. Just a few more—”

Derek never knew how Laura intended to finish that sentence. All he would ever remember was the scream that tore out of her throat. Later, he would describe it as the first time he ever understood the meaning of “bloodcurdling.”

“Laura!” Derek gritted his teeth as pain roared down his left arm, causing his vision to blur and spark white around the edges.

“My arm, Jesus, my fucking… They got my arm, Derek—” 

As water poured into the cabin above and around him, the last thing he remembered hearing was Laura’s anguished howl. Then the sky became fire, and everything went dark.

***

The day of the accident convinced Derek that his world would never stop burning.

For months after, when he lay staring at the ceiling until the early hours of the morning, the staticky shapes his eyes created to fill the darkness always melted and formed a wall of flames no matter how many times he scrunched his eyes shut and buried his face in his pillow. The noises, too — the ambient whoosh of the Dome’s ventilation system and the soft heart-like thud of the power grid soon coalesced into a unified, rhythmic chant that sounded more and more like Laura’s scream the longer Derek listened: Derek! Help!

In the days and weeks following their accident, Derek had tried every trick he could think of to reassure his subconscious that Laura was alive and safe, and would remain so even after she left his line of sight. For almost a week after she was released from the medical bay, he slept in the spare bunk above her. As reticent as he normally was to invade Laura’s privacy any more than he had to, experiencing her near-loss allowed panic and instinct to envelop Derek’s frayed nerves. He never fully explained it to Laura, but he didn’t have to — she never questioned his presence, nor did she point out that Derek always waited to fall asleep until he was certain she had already drifted off. 

Eventually, though, Derek realized the routine was leaving them both sleep-deprived and irritable. He resolved to move back to his own quarters, not wanting to smother Laura with his relentless, anxious presence. But he knew she still sensed his distress — every evening at 2300 hours, like clockwork, she knocked on his door to tell him goodnight and gently pressed her right palm against her brother’s neck before waving and returning to her own room. It was a routine they continued even now, half a decade beyond the fight that had left their Jaeger decimated. 

They had made progress, which Laura was always quick to remind her younger brother. Nothing could have prepared him for the aftermath of the accident, though, and the dark places where Derek’s mind would drift when there was no one around to distract him. Alone with his thoughts, no reassurance was strong enough to quiet Derek’s memories.

He shifted again in bed, his half-awake mind scrambling to remember the breathing exercises Deaton had taught him over the years.

Inhale through your nose. One. Two. Three. Hold. Exhale through your mouth. One. Two. Three—

Derek!

Start again. Inhale through your nose. One. Two. Three. Hold. Exhale through your mouth. Slower this time.

Good. Again.

***

This comes way after the scene above lol sorry

“Right hemisphere locked. Left hemisphere locked. Vitals are steady. Initiating neural handshake.”

Danny’s voice echoed through Derek’s head as he let his eyes flutter shut and tipped his head back. He’d been anxious about this moment for days now, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t secretly a little — or a lot — excited, too. Drifting was a heady, emotional experience, and if he and Stiles were truly compatible, Derek might finally get to settle the unease he had felt since his connection with Laura was severed.

“Alright,” Danny said. “You should be feeling it in three… two… one.”

Derek’s eyes flew open, but his gaze defocused as he felt his center of gravity list forward before returning.

As his sense of internal balance returned, the tingle of the neural link fizzed over his scalp. There it is. Slowly, then all at once, he felt the rush of Stiles’ mind meeting his own. Their emotions flowed over one another like water, memories flashing and sensations pulsing before slipping away into their shared flow of awareness. Derek had trained himself long ago to let himself float until the waters steadied, and he could feel Stiles, ever perceptive, do the same.

“Neural handshake established and holding at 100 percent.”

Without having to think twice about the gesture, Derek felt his knuckles meet his palm as he dipped into a customary bow. As he and Stiles led Luna in her first exploratory steps, Derek felt the weight of any lingering fears melt away.

With Laura, Derek had always felt like they were extensions of one another, movements and decisions cascading seamlessly from a fully unified thought process. Drifting with Stiles, though, felt unlike anything Derek had ever experienced. They were two sides of the same coin — each aggressive and reserved in equal, opposite measure. If Derek and Laura were reading from the same script, he and Stiles were finishing each others’ sentences as they improvised the same scene. 

When they first met, Derek had found Stiles anything but graceful — but now, as they nearly seemed to glide across the ocean floor, he felt foolish for not realizing the instinctive adjustments and calculations stiles was constantly making based on his surroundings. As they steered Luna across the testing ground, Derek felt his temples begin to thrum with an energy he hadn’t felt in years. Best of all, he knew Stiles felt it too — he could literally trace the path of his elation as it wrapped around Derek’s senses and amplified his own excitement.

“How are you doing?” Derek shouted across the rig. It wasn’t a question he needed to ask verbally, but he chose to anyway, knowing it would help ground them both in the present moment and prevent any stray thought spirals from taking over their link.

“So good, dude. This is — this is unreal,” Stiles replied, slicing through the air with his left arm to test the angle of the jaeger’s knuckle daggers.

Derek smiled. “Not exactly like the simulators, huh?”

“Nothing like the simulators, man. Holy shit.”

As they continued to acclimate to the drift, Derek took Stiles through a few more of Luna’s signature maneuvers. Stiles’ extensive research showed, and combined with the knowledge he and Derek now shared, the moves seemed to come naturally.

“Do you want some music?” He and Laura always played music when training, but he didn’t want Stiles to feel—

“That’s all I want right now, Derek.” Derek’s grin broadened as Stiles flicked through the controls hovering in front of him. A heavy bass line thrummed through the cabin, and Derek finally did what he never thought he would be able to again in his lifetime: he let his mind relax and free-fell into the drift.

***

Two hours after he and Stiles had eaten dinner and finally parted ways, Derek still couldn’t stop thinking about their drift.

That wasn’t unusual, all things considered — emotional transfer was common, especially for werewolves and especially during the first few drifts with a new partner.

Every time Derek thought about his connection with Stiles, though, and the experience of their emotions weaving together, his mind kept snagging in one place. It was a place that had struck Derek even during the high of the neural handshake, not because it felt odd or foreign, but because it felt hauntingly familiar — but looked ugly and sinister looming over someone else. 

It was anguish. It was a grief that had been doused in shame and set alight. It was a feeling of loss and self-loathing that made Derek feel like he was suffocating. It was exactly the way Derek had felt every day for years after the fire, and again after the accident. 

He had tried to explain it to Laura as dispassionately as possible all the times she chided him for blaming himself or expressing guilt over what happened to their family, but he never knew how to describe it until he experienced it through Stiles’ memories. It was sore, like a bruised rib, a persistent ache that radiated out from the point of impact and lingered at the edge of his consciousness. Distractions might be able to push away some of the pain, but as long as he kept breathing, it would always be there.

Derek hadn’t seen exactly where Stiles’ pain radiated from, but it seemed to shroud the memories of his mother especially strongly. Stiles told him she had been sick, though — why would he feel guilty about her death?

He sat up, his leg bouncing as he fidgeted absently with a hangnail. Since deciphering what that unexpected shared emotion reminded him of, Derek couldn’t stop thinking about it. This, he knew, was normal too — without an outlet, emotional transfer tended to create a feedback loop as a co-pilot bounced back and forth between their own memories and their partner’s. 

Before he could talk himself out of it, Derek shot up and strode to the door. It was late, almost midnight, and the full body experience of drifting had left Derek racked with fatigue. But — he just wanted to talk to Stiles. To be near him, again, as if it were a substitute for the feeling of absolute synchronicity they had just shared. It would only take a few minutes.

He was so distracted by his own jumbled thoughts that it took him a moment to register who stood just outside his door as he flung it open — it was Stiles, hand paused in mid-air.

“Stiles.” Very eloquent, Derek, he chided himself with an internal voice that sounded suspiciously like Laura.

“Oh— Well. Um. Hi.” Stiles gave a small wave before shoving his hand in his pocket. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were about to—“

“I was about to find you.”

Stiles paused. “Really?”

Derek stepped back, nodding toward the doorway. “Really. Do you want to come in?”

As he and Stiles stood facing each other silently, Derek scrambled for exactly what he wanted to say. Everything was so effortless when they were in the drift. Why was it so hard to find the words now?

To his relief, Stiles was the one who broke the silence. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re tired… I’m just kind of keyed up, I guess, and I couldn’t—“ Stiles ducked his head down. “I don’t know. I thought it might help to see you.”

“Don’t apologize. You have good instincts,” Derek assured him. “And I— I wanted to see you too,” he added, feeling the tips of his ears heat. 

He could almost feel Stiles’ sigh of relief in his own chest. “Can I sit?”

“Of course.” Derek scooped a discarded pile of clothes off his bed and gingerly sat down after Stiles, mindful of the careful space between them. “Are you feeling okay?”

Stiles’ eyebrows jumped. “Yeah, I feel fine, I really do, but I just feel… jumpy, I guess. Which is normal for me, but I can tell this is different. I don’t know how I know, but…” he trailed off, gesturing abstractly in front of him.

Derek nodded. “I know what you mean. You can’t really prepare for the drift until you’ve done it,” he said, remembering how disjointed he felt after his first few test runs. “But it gets easier,” he added.

Stiles shook his head. “I’m not worried about it. I trust you.” His eyes shot up to meet Derek’s, as if challenging him to dispute the steady, honest heartbeat behind his words. 

Derek was surprised to feel something behind his eyes sting at the pronouncement. He looked away from Stiles’ scrutinizing gaze, but he felt the other man’s eyes continue to study him. “I’m glad. I— that means a lot to me.”

Stiles nodded, remaining thoughtfully silent. Derek sensed he wanted to ask something, but wasn’t ready to admit it on his own.

“Is there anything I can do?” Derek asked gently, eyes seeking Stiles’ again.

Stiles looked pointedly away and bit at his thumbnail. “Um. It sounds stupid now. But I read… I read that physical contact can help,” he mumbled, so quickly Derek might not have caught it without his magnified hearing.

He realized Stiles’ admission may have felt embarrassing for a human, but for Derek, it was almost a relief. He reached forward slowly and cupped his hand over Stiles’ shoulder with a light squeeze. 

“It’s not stupid. You felt how intense the drift is. When you separate from a complete mental overlap, it can be disorienting. And you know how tactile wolves are — that makes it even harder for us, so you’re probably getting some of this from my own emotional bleed.” He didn’t miss the way Stiles melted into his touch, his whole body swaying into their point of contact.

Stiles nodded. “Yeah. That makes sense. Thanks,” his gaze flicked up to meet Derek’s.

“Do you—“ Derek didn’t really know how to ask for more contact. It came so naturally with other werewolves, so he’d never really had to think about it before. “I don’t want to touch you in a way you’re not comfortable with. But if you want to lay down, or you want me to lay down or…” He took a sharp, steadying breath. “I’m trying to say that I understand, and I think it will make us both feel better, and I’m fine with whatever level of contact you’re okay with.”

Stiles laughed, a bright and unexpected break in the tension. “Jesus. Listen to us. I feel ridiculous, but— Thank you. You’re very considerate.” He paused, expression drawing almost imperceptibly tighter. “I want that too, though. I want you to feel comfortable. If you’re not, if there’s anything I do— I promise I’ll ask, first, and if you can tell me, I want you to.” 

Derek felt a lump rise in his throat. Stiles’ words were sincere, but carefully chosen. He wasn’t sure how much of his own memories Stiles had observed, but it seemed to have been enough to understand that physical touch had once been a powerful weapon wielded against him.

“Thank you,” he answered quietly, before gently tugging at Stiles’ arm. “Here, lay down.”

The bed was barely wide enough for both of them to lay side by side, but it was just enough space for both men to settle on their backs with their elbows carefully layered between them. Derek hesitated for a moment before angling his head against Stiles’ neck. “Is this okay?”

Stiles hummed in agreement, the back of his hand flitting against Derek’s so softly he almost thought he imagined it. “This is perfect.” He inhaled deeply through his nose and tilted his head closer to Derek’s. They lay silently for a handful of minutes, and the rhythmic in-out of Stiles’ breathing nearly lulled Derek to sleep.

Suddenly, Derek felt Stiles still. “Why were you about to come look for me?”

Derek huffed. “I wanted to see you.”

“What, you had to check in on the rookie who can’t handle a drift?” Stiles’ tone was light, devoid of any real offense, and he jostled his shoulder gently against Derek’s.

“You did great. If anything, I— I hadn’t done it in so long, and Laura was my only co-pilot before you.” Derek frowned, remembering the heavy emotions of Stiles’ that had ensnared him earlier. He didn’t want to overwhelm Stiles, but he also wanted him to know that he both empathized with and thought highly of him. 

“I never thought I would get in a rig again,” Derek continued. “I don’t think I trusted myself enough. I carry… I carry a lot of guilt, Stiles. But when I thought about piloting with you, the guilt didn’t win. You’re the first person who’s been capable enough, smart enough, strong enough, that I didn’t have to worry.” 

Stiles didn’t respond at first, and a flash of panic seized Derek before he felt strong, warm fingers curl around his own.

“I won’t let you down,” Stiles said, his voice nearly a whisper and rough with emotion.

“I don’t think you could,” Derek whispered back, before he let his eyes slip shut and exhaustion overtake him.

***

When Derek awoke the next morning, he was startled — but it wasn’t in reaction to the way Stiles had draped himself over Derek in his sleep. Feeling Stiles’ arms around his waist felt oddly natural. The surprising part was how well he had slept — it was the first night of uninterrupted slumber he could remember having in months, if not longer.

***

yeah so... that’s all for now! if you read this, thanks and i hope you’re doing well!!! ❤️ 

[gaycharr]

Stages of Grief

A bit different than my usual writing style i think, just a quick(ish) thing. Do the stages of grief apply to a life? When you lose your way, that is also a sort of grief, is it not ?

Vetrius and, in a way, resolutions. Initially inspired by @tyrias-library ‘s resolutions prompt but idk if it follows that theme enough to still count 

warning for themes of depression and talk of suicide

Shock and Denial

Childhood is innocent, yes, but at what point does that naivete start to change into a painful awareness of those around you? Vetrius could pinpoint the exact moment.

She’d never given much thought to her own image until here. She was happy, and sociable. She enjoyed chatting with the others in her Fahrar and never thought twice about offering a hand to another.

It seemed this very thing was what would bring her new revelation around. Practicing in the yard (swords today) after a heavy rain. When her sparring partner slipped backwards, falling heavily to the ground as their sword thudded away, there was no hesitation on her end. She dropped her sword, stepped forward to offer her hand to her friend, and froze at the look on their face.

They sneered up at her angrily, eyes glittering. Vet felt numb as they slapped her paw from them and scrambled to their paws themself. She didn’t react even as the smaller cub shoved at her shoulders, making her take a step back as she blinked at them, still processing.

“Burn it! You’re so...so..SOFT! Can’t you just be normal?” The other cub hissed at her before stalking away. Vet felt her ears burning under the weight of the stares of the others. Her stomach churned. How had she missed this? Now that she looked, she noticed the pattern of slit gazes and twitching tails. How bodies angled from her and the line of the shoulders grew tense and flat.

Vet clenched her fangs. No, no, this was fine. This was normal. Nothing had happened.

Pain and Guilt

In the wake of her newfound hyper vigilance of others, Vetrius seemed to see evidence of her wrongness everywhere. Always too ready to offer a smile, to compromise, to lend a hand. These came naturally to her, but now it was soured by the jarring realization that these weren’t strengths, but weaknesses. It sat heavy within her, writhing and occasionally growing overwhelming and clawing up her throat.

At night she curled up on her bunk in a tight ball hugging her knees to her chest, tail wrapped around her. She clenched her teeth against the cresting waves of despair within her, clawed at the sheets in the breathless pain of emotion. What had she done to be so alone?

Anger 

Slowly, so slowly, Vet’s pain and despair started to boil into anger. Why was it so hard for others to just accept each other, to be kind? Why was SHE the odd one out, for having fucking compassion? How dare she give a shit, how dare they treat her like this!

She withdrew ever further within herself. No longer attempting to bridge the gap between her and others, what was the point, she didn’t matter to them and she didn’t want to. No longer was she content either, to ignore snide remarks made against her, and her claws and fangs became ready to bear as she growled back.

She thought it was ironic, in a blood boiling way, how before she was too soft, but now she seemed too harsh, too prickly. The others avoided her now, not out of second hand embarrassment but out of a sort of discomfiting fear that the dog they’d beat might bite back now. She felt too big in her fur these days, felt as if she was always clenching her fangs against something- she didn't know what, just that it would be horrible to unleash.

Wasn’t she perfect now though? She thought with a snarl. Big and angry and ready to fight. 

(and Bargaining)

She didn’t need them to accept her though. She could just- run away. Start a new life.

This thought manifested in different ways, but quickly took a turn for unhealthy. To fantasize of a new life is okay, but not when you stray into the territory of ‘can i just die now so i can have a new life’. The thought turned into claws over skin, an increasing recklessness with herself, an always prickling sense of being prepared for a fight against her peers.

And then it happened. A heavy storm that her band was caught in, trekking back home after some field practice. Heavier than normal. Vet foolishly remarked this out loud, and instantly remembered herself as another scoffed. “Scared of a little water?” was the sneered reply.

Vet felt her fur grow hot, start to bristle at the shoulders. Felt that ugly something rear up in her, ready to bite. And just as she opened her mouth, a flash of lightning blinded her. In the receding bright and boom of thunder, they all stared in shocked awe as a large portal opened in front of them.

Instantly her band began to bicker about what to do. Vet felt her anger fade as she considered. “We should go back and tell the others, see what they want to do about this.” It seemed sensible to her, what were they gonna do, step through it? Nothing else to do but find someone who could at least take a proper look.

Except- to her band- it translated into cowardice, a want to leave the situation and have someone else handle it. “You would say that! Hah! Why dont you just run along for us, we’ll stay here and do the hard work.” And suddenly the anger was back and boiling up and finally, Vetrius could no longer bared it. 

It radiated off her, heavy and palpable, and even the storm seemed to quiet as everyone hushed and stared at her, waiting for the wave to crest. Her clenched fists trembled, blood mixing with the rain where her claws dug into her own skin.

She thought about turning around. Though about ripping into every single one, fighting until they had no choice but to admit that she was Strong, Stronger than them even. Distantly, breathlessly, and almost furiously disappointed in herself for it, she knew that she wasn’t going to do that.

Instead, she took a deep breath, and stepped through the portal. She would have a new life, one way or another.

Depression

The mists were unlike anything Vetrius had ever thought to expect. They were...ineffable, indescribable, in a way that sometimes struck an odd chord of nostalgia within her.

They were dangerous too, she quickly learned. When she first stepped into the mists from the portal, still  dripping with rain water as it snapped shut behind her, she’d felt only a numb angry sort of joy. She’d stuck it to them! Except...what now?

Time passed, or at least Vetrius thought it did. It was hard to tell, some areas seemed to lack any sort of sun or moon even. She could measure it only by her hunger, which stopped being effective as she slowly began to starve, the small meals she was able to catch not quite enough.

Often she could feel the weight of a gaze on her, or would snap her head around looking for the source of an imagine whisper. She must be going crazy. She must be dying. The thought came almost as a relief to her. Or...she wanted it to be a relief, so she refused to admit that it wasn’t.

She struggled on and on and on. The worse her shape became, the more she struggled, the more the panic within her started to rise. Her admittance was just on the tip of her tongue but still she couldn’t let it out.

It was in the dead of night. She’d come across some berries and, starving, had eaten them. It was the wrong choice, she could feel her stomach rolling. By the time the cold sweat of fear had reached her, she knew it was too late, whatever she had eaten was undeniably poison and finally she was faced with the reality that she was going to die, possibly any moment.

Her limbs began to tingle, her vision growing hazy. She shook her head dizzily, trying to stay in focus. Her breaths came in harsh pants. And finally, FINALLY, her realization hit her in a bright burst of light.

(the upward turn)

She...she didn’t want to die! She could feel the thought fill her, breaking through the walls she’d built against her own self. She didn’t want to die, she wanted to live! She WANTED to live.

Her teeth creaked as she clenched them, heaving breaths through her nose desperately as she crumbled but suddenly unwilling to give up. 

But it was too late, wasn’t it? Her arms shook, her mouth watered sickeningly. And- and-

Her vision was growing bright, so bright! She could barely see through the blinding light now. She was supposed to stay AWAY from the light, right? She stumbled back, not realizing that her vision had suddenly cleared, her limbs quickly regaining control.

“Be not afraid.” The voice sounded amused, and comforting. Vet could taste a spring breeze, despite the dusty crumbling walls of some mist castle around her. The light started to recede, and finally Vet realized that she wasn’t going to die, actually.

She looked up at the being of light, and it caused a weird feeling to squirm through her.  Vet was kneeling, she realized, looking up at this angel (what else could it be?) with teary eyes. The Angel extended a hand down to her, the limb solidifying within the fluctuating light.

Unthinking, Vet blinked away her tears as she reached up, took the hand, and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.

Reconstruction 

“You want to leave this place.” Hearing Angel’s voice wasn’t always a common thing. Even now that they had learned some of their bond, Angel usually spoke through impressions of emotions or flashes of images in Vet’s mind.

Vet faltered. Much time had passed now, Vet was positive. She wasn’t a cub anymore. After Angel saved her, the two had just seemed to be entwined. Their bond wasn’t an instant thing after that, but it grew quickly as Angel followed and watched over Vet. The two grew together, and it was...nice, despite it all, Vet thought at least. She’d had a lot of growing to do, she’d realized.

Vet hadn’t had a home in a long time, but this place still wasn’t it. If Angel had asked before now, the fear of facing reality might have driven Vet to deny the statement, but intuitive as their connection was now she must have sensed that Vet was ready  to face these issues.

Acceptance and Hope

Vet didn’t vocally accept, but Angel’s presence brightened at the responding emotion of agreement and acceptance reflected from Vetrius. And excitement, even. 

A part of Vetrius felt terrified, as Angel steered her towards a portal that would spit her back out into Tyria after so long. But it was overpowered by the thrill of hope running through her.

She’d gone through so much, but she’d also learned so much. She was ready to accept the pain she’d been through: in her childhood, in the mists, the pain she may yet be to face. As long as she keeps growing, she’ll be okay.